Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field 5 – Anonymous · Verses Across
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field 5Diary of the Modern Hunt Secretary
18
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field 5
Diary of the Modern Hunt Secretary
AnonymousEnglish
"Capping all non-subscribers is pretty generally resorted to, this season, not only in the shires, but also with provincial packs."--Daily Press.]
Monday.--Splendid gallop after non-subscriber. Spotted the quarry on good-looking chestnut, whilst we were drawing big covert. Edged my horse over in his direction, but non-subscriber very wary--think he must have known my face as "collector of tolls." Retired again to far side of spinney and disguised myself in pair of false whiskers, which I always keep for these occasions. Craftily sidled up, and finally got within speaking distance, under cover of the whiskers, which effectually masked my battery. "Beg pardon, sir," I began, lifting my hat, "but I don't think I have the pleasure of knowing your name as a subscri----" But he was off like a shot. Went away over a nice line of country, all grass, and a good sound take-off to most of the fences. Non-subscriber had got away with about a three lengths lead of me, and that interval was fairly maintained for the first mile and a half of the race. Then, felt most annoyed to see that my quarry somewhat gained on me as we left the pasture land and went across a holding piece of plough. Over a stiff post and rails, and on again, across some light fallow, towards a big dry ditch. The hunted one put his horse resolutely at it--must say he rode very straight, but what won't men do to avoid "parting?"--horse jumped short and disappeared from view together with his rider. Next moment I had also come a cropper at ditch, and rolled down on top of my prey. "Excuse me," I said, taking out my pocket-book and struggling to my knees in six inches of mud, "but when you rather abruptly started away from covertside, I was just about to remark that I did not think you were a subscriber, and that I should have much pleasure in taking the customary 'cap'--thank you." And he paid up quite meekly. We agreed, as we rode back together, in the direction in which we imagined hounds to be, that even if they had got away with a good fox, the field would not be likely to have had so smart a gallop as he and I had already enjoyed. Lost my day's hunting, of course.
Thursday.--Got away after another non-subscriber, led him over four fields, after which he ran me out of sight. Lost my day's hunting again, but was highly commended by M.F.H. for my zeal.
Saturday.--M.F.H. pointed out five non-subscribers, and I at once started off to "cap" them. Lost another day with hounds--shall send in my resignation.
ON EXMOOR
Gent (very excited after his first gallop with staghounds). "Hi, mister, don't let the dogs maul 'im, and I'll take the 'aunch at a bob a pound!"
COOKED ACCOUNTS
Extract from old Fitzbadly's letter to a friend, describing a run in the Midlands:--"I was well forward at the brook, but lost my hat, and had to dismount."
SOMETHING LIKE A NOSE.
Whip (after galloping half a mile to a holloa). "Where did you see him?"
Yokel. "Can't zay as 'ow I 'zactly zeed 'un, but I think I smelled 'un!"]
Second Horseman No. 1. "Ulloah, Danny, what are you lookin' for?"
Second Horseman No. 2. "Perkisites. Guv'nor's just been over 'ere. 'E jumps so much 'igher than 'is 'orse, there's always some small change or summat to be picked up!"
