Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field 8 – Anonymous · Verses Across
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field 8Misplaced Energy
18
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field 8
Misplaced Energy
AnonymousEnglish
Huntsman (seeking a beaten fox). "Now then, have you seen anything of him?"
Cockney Sportsman (immensely pleased with himself). "Well, rather! Why, I've just driven him into this drain for you!"
"WHILE YOU WAIT"
"Here, my good man, just pull those rails down. Be as quick as you can!"
"Take 'em down, miss! It'll be a good four hours' job, for I've been all the mornin' a-puttin' of 'em up!"]
ECHOES OF THE CHASE. BOXING DAY
Holiday Sportsman (to Whip, who has been hollering). "Where's the fox?"
Whip. "Gone away, of course."
H. S. "Gone away! Wotcher makin' all that noise for, then? I thought you'd caught 'im!"]
EASILY SATISFIED
Gent (who all but dissolved partnership at the last fence). "Thank goodness I've got hold of the reins again! If I could but get my foot into that confounded stirrup, I should be all right!"
A Nice Prospect
Host (to Perks, an indifferent horseman, who has come down for the hunting). "Now, look here, Perks, old chap, as you're a light weight, I'll get you to ride this young mare of mine. You see, I want to get her qualified for our Hunt Cup, and she's not up to my weight, or I'd ride her myself. Perhaps I'd better tell you she hasn't been ridden to hounds before, so she's sure to be a bit nervous at first; and mind you steady her at the jumps, as she's apt to rush them; and I wouldn't take her too near other people, as she has a nasty temper, and knows how to use her heels; and, whatever you do, don't let her get you down, or she'll tear you to pieces. The last man that rode her is in hospital now. But keep your eye on her, and remember what I've said, and you'll be all right!"
[Consternation of Perks
'ARRY ON 'ORSEBACK
Our 'Arry goes 'unting and sings with a will,
"The 'orn of the 'unter is 'eard on the 'ill:"
And oft, when a saddle looks terribly bare,
The 'eels of our 'Arry are seen in the air!
'W. STANDS FOR WIRE'
"Hulloah, Jarge! Been puttin' up some wire to keep the fox-hunter away?"
"Noa, I b'ain't put up no wire; but the 'unt they sends me a lot o' them boards with 'W' on um, so I just stuck 'em up all round the land, and they never comes nigh o' me now!"]
THE HUNTING SEASON
Rector. "Is that the parcels post, James? He's early this morning, isn't he?" (Noise without, baying of dogs, &c.) "What's all this----"
James (excited). "Yes, sir. Postman says as how the young 'ounds, a comin' back from cubbin', found 'im near the kennels, and runned 'im all the way 'ere. They was close on 'im when he got in! Thinks it was a packet o' red 'errins in the bag, sir! I see the run from the pantry window"--(with enthusiasm)--"a beautiful ten minutes' bu'st, sir!"]
HUNTING "DAY BY DAY"
"The Mudsquashington Foxhounds had a good day's sport from Wotsisname Coverts (which were laid for a large number). They found in Thingamy Woods, rattled him round the Osier Beds, and then through the Gorse, just above Sumware. Leaving this and turning left-handed, he ran on as far as Sumotherplace, where he finally got to ground. Amongst the numerous field were Lord Foozle and Lady Frump, Messrs. Borkins, Poshbury, and Tomkyn-Smith."
