She (with resolution). Charlie, I want to ask your pardon. I have made a mistake.
He. Yes, dear; which of them?
She. You shall not put me out by sneering. Yes, I have made a mistake; and when I make a mistake, I do not fail to acknowledge it.
He. Quite right, dear. Nothing like having a congenial occupation.
She. Charlie, we came back to town prematurely.
He. Yes, dear; we certainly curtailed our stay in Paris a little to allow of your purchasing that pretty bonnet.
She. It cost a lot of money, Charlie.
He. It did, dear; but I did not grudge it, as you and the shop girl said it was of the first mode and the greatest novelty in Paris.
She. Yes, Charlie; and I believed her.
He. Well, I am sure that the three or four days we cut off were well worth it, to buy the bonnet.
She. How good, how noble of you to say so!
He. Not at all; I was really glad to get back to the club. And you have your bonnet--a real genuine French bonnet! And the most Parisian shape imaginable.
She (with an effort). The shape is not Parisian.
He. Not Parisian! Where does it come from?
She. I see from a ticket in the lining it was made in the Edgware Road.
[Tears and curtain.
AT WINDSOR.--American Traveller (to Waiter at the "Blue Stag"). Say, is it true that you've got a real live ghost here?
Waiter. Yessir. Believed to be either Cardinal Garnet Wolseley, 'Erne the 'Untsman, Queen Elizabeth, or the late King of the Belgiums.
American Traveller. Thanks. Send for the local reporter, if off duty in any one capacity.
SUITABLE SPOTS.--Ware-ham--for abstainers from pork; Whits-table--for facetious gourmets; Wig-more--for bald men; Wig-ton--for perruquiers; Winfarthing--for small gamblers; Wo-burn--for firemen.
NOSE IN EGITTO; OR, AUTOMOBILITY IN THE LAND OF THE SPHINX.
"One touch of Punch makes the whole world kin."
A QUESTION OF PROPORTION.--Colonel Peppercorn (who is touring in France with a hired chauffeur and car, which has broken down). "Confound it all, you say it's nothing? Then why don't you repair it?"
Alphonse Legros. "Mais, monsieur, pas possible, he break below! I cannot arrive there! He is only quinze centimetres from ze ground; but me--voila--I have one metre round ze chest!"
