If you are put with a friend in a double-bedded room, bear in mind that inside walls are only lath and plaster, and that every word you say will be heard in the next room. Therefore carry on your conversation at the tip-top of your voice, and make as much noise as you can in packing, and in splashing, and in stumping round your room.
Always give to beggars who waylay you on the road, and if you know their language, accompany your gift with a little stagey speech to the effect that all we English have more money than we know how to spend, and it is our duty when we travel to succour the distressed. This will mightily encourage the impostors in their trade, and engender a great nuisance for tourists who are poorer or less foolish than yourself.
SHE MEANT NOTHING WRONG.--Curate to American Visitor. How do you like our church, Mrs. Golightly? It is very generally admired.
Mrs. Golightly. Yes, it's very pretty, but if it only had a clock fitted on the tower, it would be useful as well as ornamental.
TACTFUL SYMPATHY
Genial Friend. "Hullo, old man, getting on all right?"
Yachting Man. "Well, I always said you were a plucky fellow, Splinter; but really, now, I did not give you credit----"
Splinter (not displeased). "How do you mean?"
Yachting Man. "Why, with your spars, to put out in such a gale o' wind as this."]
