Swell. Waiter! This--ah--chop's vewy dwy!
Waiter. 'Ndeed, sir? Perhaps if you were to order something to drink with it, sir----
Host. "Fish is very expensive, just now, I can tell you. This salmon cost me two and sixpence a pound!"
Guest (no business of his). "Ah, it's very good, I think I'll take another eighteen penn'orth!"]
The Major. "Don't you like liqueurs, Mrs. Jinks?"
Mrs. Jinks. "Yes; but they make one so unreserved!"]
A BORN ORATOR (IN THE EAST)
Farmer (proposing landlord's health). "An' if a' squiears 'ud dew as our squiear dew, there wudna be so many on 'em as dew as they dew dew!"
Hostess (to friend who has been brought in to take pot-luck). "I'm afraid, Mr. Simpson, we've only got a very poor dinner to offer you."
Mr. Simpson. "My dear Mrs. Jones, I beg you not to apologise! I assure you I think it quite desirable to underfeed occasionally!"
