Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 3 – Anonymous · Verses Across
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 3Lord'S!
18
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 3
Lord'S!
AnonymousEnglish
There's a glorious sanctum of cricket,
Away in the Wood of St. John;
No spot in creation can lick it
For the game at which Grace is the "don."
Though Melbourne may claim a "Medina,"
The "Mecca" of cricket must be
In the beautiful classic arena,
The home of the "old" M. C. C.
Home, sweet home of the M. C. C.,
Ever my fancy is turning to thee!
Up with King Willow and down with the dumps
Hark to the rattle of leather and stumps.
Oh, what a rapturous thrill it affords!
Give yourself up to the magic of "Lord's."
SCORING FOR DR. GRACE.--"A running commentary."
ALL WORK AND NO PLAY.--The umpire's part.
THE IRREPRESSIBLE JOKER AGAIN (ON BAIL.)--
Q. Where ought ducks' eggs to be most readily found? A. At the Oval.
[Bail estreated.
Hairdresser (about to part customer`s hair). "Centre, sir?"
Flannelled fool (rather an absent-minded beggar). "Oh--er--middle an' 'eg!"
ALL THE YEAR ROUND;
Or, Keeping Up the Ball.
When September soaks the fields,
And the leaves begin to fall,
Cricket unto football yields,--
That is all!
Yes--in hot or humid weather,
At all seasons of the year,
Life is little without leather
In a sphere.
In the scrimmage, at the stumps,
'Neath the goal, behind the sticks,
Life's a ball, which Summer thumps,
Winter kicks.
Our "terrestrial ball" is round,
(Is it an idea chimerical?)
Man, by hidden instincts bound,
Loves the spherical.
In rotund, elastic bounders,
Plainly the great joy of men is,
Witness cricket, billiards, rounders,
And lawn-tennis.
CLASSIC TITLE FOR DR. GRACE.--"The Centurion."
He. "You're fond of cricket, then?"
She. "Oh, I'm passionately devoted to it!"
He. "What part of a match do you enjoy the most?"
She. "Oh, this part--the promenade!"]
MR. PUNCH KEEPS HIS EYE ON CRICKET
THEN (1841) AND NOW (1891).
TOAST FOR TAVERN LANDLORDS.--The Cricketer, who always runs up a score by his innings.
APPROPRIATE CRICKET GROUND.--Battersy-Park.
THINGS TO WHICH CRICKETING MEMBERS OF THE ANTI-GAMBLING LEAGUE ARE ADDICTED.--"Pitch" and "Toss."
DR. W. G. GRACE'S FAVOURITE DISH.--"Batter pudding."
AT THE ETON AND HARROW MATCH.--Simperton. What, you in light blue, Miss Gloriosa! I thought you were Harrovian to the core!
Miss Gloriosa. So I am, but I'm also Cambridge, and as I can't possibly afford two new dresses in one week, I decided to choose the most becoming colour!
[And SIMPERTON of the dark blue was quite satisfied with the explanation.
"FOLLOW ON!"
(A Cricketer's "Catch" AIR--"Come Follow!")
First Voice. Come follow, follow, follow, follow, follow, follow on!
Second Voice. Why then should I follow, follow, follow, why then must I follow, follow on?
Third Voice. When you're eighty runs or more behind our score you follow on!
"TRAIN UP YOUR PARENTS THE WAY THEY SHOULD GO."
--"You know papa has been asked to play in the 'Fathers against the Boys' match?" "Yes, mother. But I hope the boys will win this year. If the fathers win again they'll be so beastly cocky!"
"'Collapse of Essex.' Dear, dear! I wonder if my property at Ilford is safe?"
[Buys paper to see.
]
CRICKETER'S FAVOURITE FISH.--Slips.
THE COUP DE GRACE.--Leg hit for six.
RIDDLE MADE "ON THE GROUND."--Why are cricket matches like the backs of cheap chairs? Because they're "fixed to come off".
