Mr. Punch's Life in London 17 – Anonymous · Verses Across
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Life in London 17Misnomers
18
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Life in London 17
Misnomers
AnonymousEnglish
You start a company to make it go,
It fails, and so you drop it;
It didn't go but yet has gone, and so
You wind it up to stop it.
Stocks in your garden you will surely find
By want of rain are slaughtered;
Yet many stocks have languished and declined
Because they have been watered.
Suppose a company for brewing beer
Should come to a cessation--
That is--"dry up" 'tis curious to hear
It's called "in liquidation."
PREHISTORIC LONDON.--Some archaeologists have discovered an analogy between the druidical worship and a form of semitic idolatry. It has been surmised that the Old Bailey derives its name from having been the site of a temple of Baal.
THE RULE OF ROME.--An "Inquiring City Clerk," fresh from his Roman history, writes to ask if "S.P.Q.R." stands for "Small profits, quick returns."
A TEMPERANCE PUBLIC-HOUSE.--A slop-shop.
MELTING MOMENTS
(Temperature 95 deg. in the Shade.)
Friend. "How does this weather suit you, old chap?"
Bankrupt Proprietor. "Oh, down to the ground! You see, I'm in liquidation!"]
THE ORIGINAL COOK'S TOURIST.--Policeman X on his beat.
"THE GREAT PLAGUE OF LONDON."--A barrel-organ.
THE LATEST THING OUT.--The night-light.
THE MOST UNPLEASANT MEETING.--Having to meet a bill.
WHAT intimate connection is there between the lungs of London and the lights of the metropolis?
SAW FOR SLOP TAILORS.--Ill tweeds shrink apace.
A TISSUE OF LIES.--A forged bank-note.
A NICE INVESTMENT.--Amongst the advertisements of new undertakings we notice one of "The Universal Disinfector Company." Our broker has instructions to procure us some shares, if they are in good odour.
A TIGHT FIT.--Intoxication.
HOW TO SUPPLY ST. PAUL'S WITH BELLS AND CHIMES Cheap.--Melt down the canons.
A THOUGHT FROM OUR TUB.--Respect everybody's feelings. If you wish to have your laundress's address, avoid asking her where she "hangs out."
HARD LINES.--Overhead wires.
HOTEL FOR BEE-FANCIERS.--The Hum-mums.
UNPRECEDENTED TRADE ANNOUNCEMENT.--The pig-market was quiet.
MONEY MARKET AND SANITARY INTELLIGENCE.--The unsafest of all deposits is the deposit of the banks of the Thames.
THE PLACE TO SPEND ALL FOOLS' DAY.--Madame Tous-sots'.
METROPOLITAN IMPROVEMENTS
The next sensational literary advertisement; or, things of beauty in our streets.
SOLEMN JEST.--Where should postmen be buried? In a post-crypt.
A BLUNDER-BUS.--One that takes you to Holborn when you want to go to the Bank.
