Mr. Punch's Life in London 5 – Anonymous · Verses Across
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Life in London 5The Streets of London
18
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Life in London 5
The Streets of London
AnonymousEnglish
The stately streets of London
Are always "up" in Spring,
To ordinary minds an ex-
traordinary thing.
Then cabs across strange ridges bound,
Or sink in holes, abused
With words resembling not, in sound,
Those Mrs. Hemans used.
The miry streets of London,
Dotted with lamps by night;
What pitfalls where the dazzled eye
Sees doubly ruddy light!
For in the season, just in May,
When many meetings meet,
The jocund vestry starts away,
And closes all the street.
The shut-up streets of London!
How willingly one jumps
From where one's cab must stop through pools
Of mud, in dancing pumps!
When thus one skips on miry ways
One's pride is much decreased,
Like Mrs. Gilpin's, for one's "chaise"
Is "three doors off" at least.
The free, fair streets of London
Long, long, in vestry hall,
May heads of native thickness rise,
When April showers fall;
And green for ever be the men
Who spend the rates in May,
By stopping all the traffic then
In such a jocose way!
THE GAS-FITTER'S PARADISE.--Berners Street.
CIVIC WIT.--A City friend of ours, who takes considerable interest in the fattening of his fowls, alleges, as a reason, that he is an advocate for widening the Poultry.
TO AUCTIONEERS.--The regulations regarding sales are not to be found in any bye laws.
POETRY AND FINANCE.--Among all the quotations in all the money market and City articles who ever met with a line of verse?
ANYTHING BUT AN ALDERMAN'S MOTTO.--"Dinner forget."
A GENTLEMAN who lives by his wits.--Mr. Punch.
DEFINITION.--The Mansion House--A mayor's nest.
IN A TRAM-CAR
Lady (with smelly basket of fish). "Dessay you'd rather 'ave a gentleman settin' a-side of you?"
Gilded Youth (who has been edging away). "Yes, I would."
Lady. "Same'ere!"]
UNCONSCIONABLE
Head of the Firm. "Want a holiday!? Why, you've just been at home ill for a month!"
THE FORCE OF HABIT
Traveller (suffering from the Heat of Weather, &c.). "Wesh Bromp'n--shingl'--cold 'th bit o' lemon--loo' sharp--'r else shan't kesh my train!"
