Mr. Punch's Life in London 8 – Anonymous · Verses Across
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Life in London 8The Londoner'S Diary
18
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Life in London 8
The Londoner'S Diary
AnonymousEnglish
(For August)
Monday.--Got up at nine o'clock. Lounged to the park. No one there. Went to bed at twelve.
Tuesday.--Got up at ten o'clock. Walked to the House of Commons. Closed. Went to bed at eleven.
Wednesday.--Got up at eleven o'clock. Looked in at Prince's. Deserted. Went to bed at ten.
Thursday.--Got up at twelve o'clock. Strolled to the club. Shut up for repairs. Went to bed at nine.
Friday.--Got up at one o'clock. Stayed at home. Dull. Went to bed at eight.
Saturday.--Got up at five a.m. Went out of town at six.
THE REVERSE OF THE SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL.--A school in which very few members of society are brought up--a charity school.
PAST RECLAIMING
Brixton Barber. "Revival seems to be in the hair, sir."
Customer. "Not in mine!"]
FOG
Thou comest in familiar guise,
When in the morning I awake,
You irritate my throat and eyes,
I vow that life's a sad mistake.
You come to hang about my hair,
My much-enduring lungs to clog,
I feel you with me everywhere,
Our own peculiar London fog.
You clothe the City in such gloom,
We scarce can see across the street,
You seem to penetrate each room,
And mix with everything I eat.
I hardly dare to stir about,
But sit supine as any log;
You make it torture to go out,
Our own peculiar London fog.
THE END OF TABLE-TURNING.--An inmate of a lunatic asylum, driven mad by spiritualism, wishes to try to turn the multiplication table.
"THE QUESTION OF THE HOUR."--What o'clock is it?
PERPETUAL MOTION DISCOVERED.--The winding up of public companies.
FLIES IN AMBER.--Yellow cabs.
A SKETCH FROM LIFE
Chorus (slow music). "We're a rare old--fair old--rickety, rackety crew!"
SCENE--In a 'Bus.
TIME--During the Hot Spell.
First City Man. "D----d hot, isn't---- I--I beg your pardon, madam, I--I quite forgot there was a lady pres----"
Stout Party. "Don't apologise. It's much worse than that!"]
