Samantha at the World's Fair 10 – Holley · Verses Across
Literature · Humor
Samantha at the World's Fair 10Chapter 9
18
Literature · Humor
Samantha at the World's Fair 10
Chapter 9
HolleyEnglish
Wall, after a numerous number of emotions we at last reached our destination and stoppin'-place. And I gin a deep sithe of relief as the wheel of the carriage grated on the curb-stun, in front of the boardin' house where my Josiah and me laid out to git our two boards.
Thomas J. and Krit wanted to go to one of the big hotels. I spozed, from their talk, it wuz reasonable, and wuz better for their business, that they should be out amongst business men.
But Josiah and I didn't want to go to any such place. We had our place all picked out, and had had for some time, ever sence we had commenced to git ready for the World's Fair.
We had laid out to git our two boards at a good quiet place recommended by our own Methodist Episcopal Pasture, and a distant relation of his own.
It wuz to Miss Ebenezer Plank'ses, who took in a few boarders, bein' middlin' well off, and havin' a very nice house to start with, but wanted to add a little to her income, so she took in a few and done well by 'em, so our pasture said, and so we found out. It wuz a splendid-lookin' house a-standin' a-frontin' a park, where anybody could git a glimpse of green trees and a breath of fresh air, and as much quiet and rest as could be found in Chicago durin' the summer of 1893, so I believed.
Thomas J. and Maggie wuz perfectly suited with the place for us--and Thomas J. parleyed with Miss Plank about our room, etc.--and we wuz all satisfied with the result.
And after Josiah and me got settled down in our room, a good-lookin' one, though small, the children sot off for their hotel, which wuzn't so very fur from ourn, nigh enough so that they could be sent for easy, if we wuz took down sudden, and visey versey.
I found Miss Plank wuz a good-appearin' woman, and a Christian, I believe, with good principles, and a hair mole on her face, though she kep 'em curbed down, and cut off (the hairs).
Her husband had been a man of wealth, as you could see plain by the house that he left her a-livin' in. But some of her property she had lost through poor investments--and don't it beat all how wimmen do git cheated, and every single man she deals with a-tellin' her to confide in him freely, for he hain't but one idee, and that is to look out for her interests, to the utter neglect of his own, and a-warnin' her aginst every other man on earth but himself.
But, to resoom. She had lost some of her property, and bein' without children, and kind o' lonesome, and a born housekeeper and cook, her idee of takin' in a few respectable and agreeable boarders wuz a good one.
She wuz a good calculator, and the best maker of pancakes I ever see, fur or near. She oversees her own kitchen, and puts on her own hand and cooks, jest when she is a mind too. She hain't afraid of the face of man or woman, though she told me, and I believe it, that "her cook wuz that cross and fiery of temper, that she would skair any common person almost into coniption fits."
"But," sez she, "the first teacup that she throwed at me, because I wanted to make some pancakes, wuz the last."
I don't know what she done to her, but presoom that she held her with her eye. It is a firm and glitterin' one as I ever see.
Anyway, she put a damper onto that cook, and turns it jest when she is a mind to--to the benefit of her boarders; for better vittles wuz never cooked than Miss Plank furnishes her boarders at moderate rates and the comforts of a home, as advertisements say.
Her house wuz kep clean and sweet too, which wuz indeed a boon.
She talked a sight about her husband, which I don't know as she could help--anyway, I guess she didn't try to.
She told me the first oppurtunity what a good Christian he wuz, how devoted to her, and how much property he laid up, and that he wuz "in salt."
I thought for quite a spell she meant brine, and dassent hardly enquire into the particulars, not knowin' what she had done by the departed, widders are so queer.
But after she had mentioned to me more'n a dozen times her love for the departed, and his industrious and prosperous ways, and tellin' me every single time, "he wuz in salt," I found out that she meant that he wuz in the salt trade--bought and sold, I spozed.
I felt better.
But oh, how she did love to talk about that man; truly she used his sirname to connect us to the vast past, and to the mysterious future. We trod that Plank every day and all day, if we would listen to her.
And sometimes when I would try to get her offen that Plank for a minute, and would bring up the World's Fair to her, and how big the housen wuz, I would find my efforts futile; for all she would say about 'em wuz to tell what Mr. Plank would have done if he had been a-livin', and if he had been onhampered, and out of salt, how much better he would have done than the directors did, and what bigger housen he would have built.
And I would say, "A house that covers over most forty acres is a pretty big house."
But she seemed to think that Mr. Plank would have built housen that covered a few more acres, and towered up higher, and had loftier cupalos.
And finally I got tired of tryin' to quell her down, and I got so that I could let her talk and keep up a-thinkin' on other subjects all the time. Why, I got so I could have writ poetry, if that had been my aim, right under a constant loadin' and onloadin' of that Plank.
Curious, hain't it?
As I said, there wuz only a few boarders, most of 'em quiet folks, who had been there some time. Some on 'em had been there long enough to have children born under the ruff, who had growed up almost as big as their pa's and ma's. There wuz several of 'em half children there, and among 'em wuz one of the same age who wuz old--older than I shall ever be, I hope and pray.
He wuz gloomy and morbid, and looked on life, and us, with kinder mad and distrustful eyes. Above all others, he wuz mean to his twin sister; he looked down on her and browbeat her the worst kind, and felt older than she did, and acted as if she wuz a mere child compared to him, though he wuzn't more'n five minutes older than she wuz, if he wuz that.
Their names wuz Algernon and Guenivere Piddock, but they called 'em Nony and Neny--which wuz, indeed, a comfort to bystanders. Folks ort to be careful what names they put onto their children; yes, indeed.
Neny wuz a very beautiful, good-appearin' young girl, and acted as if she would have had good sense, and considerable of it, if she hadn't been afraid to say her soul wuz her own.
But Nony wuz cold and haughty. He sot right by me on the north side, Josiah Allen sot on my south. And I fairly felt chilly on that side sometimes, almost goose pimples, that young man child felt so cold and bitter towards the world and us, and so sort o' patronizin'.
He didn't believe in religion, nor nothin'. He didn't believe in Christopher Columbus--right there to the doin's held for him, he didn't believe in him.
"Why," sez I, "he discovered the land we live in."
He said, "He was very doubtful whether that wuz so or not--histories made so many mistakes, he presoomed there never was such a man at all."
"Why," sez I, "he walked the streets of Genoa."
And he sez, "I never see him there."
And, of course, I couldn't dispute that.
And he added, "That anyway there wuz too much a-bein' done for him. He wuz made too much of."
He didn't believe in wimmen, made a specialty of that, from Neny back to Rachael and Ruth. He powed at wimmen's work, at their efforts, their learnin', their advancement.
Neny, good little bashful thing, wuz a member of the WCTU and the Christian Endeavor, and wanted to do jest right by them noble societies and the world. But, oh, how light he would speak of them noble bands of workers in the World's warfare with wrong! To how small a space he wanted to reduce 'em down!
And I sez to him once, "You can't do very much towards belittlin' a noble army of workers as that is--millions strong."
"Millions weak, you mean," sez he. "I dare presoom to say there hain't a woman amongst 'em but what is afraid of a mouse, and would run from a striped snake."
Sez I, "They don't run from the serpent Evil, that is wreathin' round their homes and loved ones, and a-tryin' to destroy 'em--they run towards that serpent, and hain't afraid to grapple with it, and overthrow it--by the help of the Mighty," sez I.
Sez he, "There is too much made of their work." Sez he, "There hain't near so much done as folks think; the most of it is talk, and a-praisin' each other up."
"Wall," sez I, "men won't never be killed for that in their political rivalin's, they won't be condemned for praisin' each other up."
"No," sez he, "men know too much."
And then I spoke of that silver woman--how beautiful and noble an appearance she made, in the spear she ort to be in, a-representin' Justice.
And Nony said, "She wuz too soft." Sez he, "It is with her as it is with all other wimmen--men have to stand in front of her with guns to keep her together, to keep her solid."
That kinder gaulded me, for there wuz some truth in it, for I had seen the men and the rifles.
But I sprunted up, and sez I--
"They are a-guardin' her to keep men from stealin' her, that is what they are for. And," sez I, "it would be a good thing for lots of wimmen, who have got lots of silver, if it hain't in their bodies, if they had a guard a-walkin' round 'em with rifles to keep off maurauders."
Why, there wuzn't nothin' brung up that he believed in, or that he didn't act morbid over.
Why, I believe his Ma--good, decent-lookin' widder with false hair and a swelled neck, but well-to-do--wuz ashamed of him.
Right acrost from me to the table sot a fur different creeter. It wuz a man in the prime of life, and wisdom, and culture, who did believe in things. You could tell that by the first look in his face--handsome--sincere--ardent. With light brown hair, tossed kinder careless back from a broad white forward--deep blue, impetuous-lookin' eyes, but restrained by sense from goin' too fur. A silky mustache the same color of his hair, and both with a considerable number of white threads a-shinin' in 'em, jest enough so's you could tell that old Time hadn't forgot him as he went up and down the earth with his hour-glass under his arm, and his scythe over his shoulder.
He had a tall, noble figger, always dressed jest right, so's you would never think of his clothes, but always remember him simply as bein' a gentleman, helpful, courteous, full of good-nature and good-natured wit and fun. But yet with a sort of a sad look underlyin' the fun, some as deep waters look under the frothy sparkle on top, as if they had secrets they might tell if they wuz a mind to--secrets of dark places down, fur down, where the sun doesn't shine; secrets of joy and happiness, and hope that had gone down, and wuz carried under the depths--under the depths that we hadn't no lines to fathom.
No, if there wuz any secrets of sadness underlyin' the frank openness and pleasantness of them clear blue eyes, we hadn't none of us no way of tellin'.
We hadn't no ways of peerin' down under the clear blue depths, any further than he wuz willin' to let us.
All we knew wuz, that though he looked happy and looked good-natured, back of it all, a-peerin' out sometimes when you didn't look for it, wuz a sunthin' that looked like the shadder cast from a hoverin' lonesomeness, and sorrow, and regret.
But he wuz a good-lookin' feller, there hain't a doubt of that, and good actin' and smart.
He wuz a bacheldor, and we could all see plain that Miss Plank held his price almost above rubies.
If there wuz any good bits among vittles that wuz always good, it wuz Miss Plank's desire that he should have them bits; if there wuz drafts a-comin' from any pint of the compass, it wuz Miss Plank's desire to not have him blowed on. If any soft zephyr's breath wuz wafted to any one of us from a open winder on a hot evenin' or sunny noon, he wuz the one she wanted wafted to, and breathed on.
If her smiles fell warm on any, or all on us, he wuz the one they fell warmest on. But we all liked him the best that ever wuz. Even Nony Piddock seemed to sort of onbend a little, and moisten up with the dew of charity his arid desert of idees a little mite, when he wuz around.
And occasionally, when the bacheldor, whose name wuz Mr. Freeman, when he would, half in fun and half in earnest, answer Nony's weary and bitter remarks, once in a while even that aged youth would seem to be ashamed of himself, and his own idees.
There wuz another widder there--Miss Boomer; or I shouldn't call her a clear widder--I guess she wuz a sort of a semi-detached one--I guess she had parted with him.
Wall, she cast warm smiles on Mr. Freeman--awful warm, almost meltin'.
Miss Plank didn't like Miss Boomer.
Miss Piddock didn't want to cast no looks onto nobody, nor make no impressions. She wuz a mourner for Old Piddock, that anybody could see with one eye, or hear with one ear--that is, if they could understand the secrets of sithes; they wuz deep ones as I ever hearn, and I have hearn deep ones in my time, if anybody ever did, and breathed 'em out myself--the land knows I have!
Miss Plank loved Miss Piddock like a sister; she said that she felt drawed to her from the first, and the drawin's had gone on ever sence--growin' more stronger all the time.
Wall, there wuz two elderly men, very respectable, with two wives, one apiece, lawful and right, and their children, and Miss Schack and her three children, and a Mr. Bolster, and that wuz all there wuz of us, includin' and takin' in my pardner and myself.
Mr. Freeman wuz very rich, so Miss Plank said, and had three or four splendid rooms, the best--"sweet"--in the house, she said.
I spoze she spoke in that way to let us know they wuz furnished sweet--that is, I spoze so.
His mother had died there, and he couldn't bear to know that anybody else had her rooms; so he kep 'em all, and paid high for 'em, so she said, and wuz as much to be depended on for punctuality, and honesty, as the Bank of England, or the mines of Golcondy.
Yes, Miss Plank said that, with all his sociable, pleasant ways with everybody, he wuz a millionare--made it in sugar, I believe she said--I know it wuz sunthin' good to eat, and sort o' sweet--it might have been molasses--I won't be sure.
But anyway he got so awful rich by it that he could live anywhere he wuz a mind to--in a palace, if he took it into his head to want one.
But instead of branchin' out and makin' a great show, he jest kep right on a-livin' in the rooms he had took so long ago for his family. But they had all gone and left him, his mother dead, and his two nieces gone with their father to California, where they wuz in a convent school. And he kep right on a-livin' in the old rooms.
Miss Plank told me in confidence, and on the hair-cloth sofa in the upper hall, that it would be a big wrench if he ever left there.
She said, "She didn't say it because he wuz a bacheldor and she a widder, she said it out of pure-respect."
And I believed it, a good deal of the time I did; for good land! she wuz old enough to be his ma, and more too.
But he acted dretful pretty to her, I could see that. Not findin' no fault, eatin' hash jest as calm as if he wuzn't engaged in a strange and mysterious business.
For great, great is the mystery of boardin'-house hash.
Not a-mindin' the children's noise--indeed, a-courtin' it, as you may say, for he would coax the youngest and most troublesome one away from its tired mother sometimes, and keep it by him at the table, and wait on it.
He thought his eyes of children, so Miss Plank said.
I might have thought that he took care of the child on its mother's account, out of sentiment instead of pity, if Miss Schack hadn't been as humbly as humbly could be, and a big wart on the end of her nose, and a cowlick. She had three children, and they wuz awful, awful to git along with.
Her husband "wuz on the road," she said. And we couldn't any of us really make out from what she said what he wuz a-doin' there, whether he wuz a-movin' along on it to his work, or jest a-settin' there.
But anyway she talked a good deal about his "bein' on the road," and how much better the children behaved "before he went on it."
They jest rid over her, and over us too, if we would let 'em.
They wuz the awfullest children I ever laid eyes on, for them that had such pious and well-meanin' names.
There wuz John Wesley, and Martin Luther, and little Peter Cooper Schack.
Miss Schack wuz a well-principled woman, no doubt, and I dare say had high idees before they wuz jarred, and hauled down, and stomped and trampled on, by noise and confusion. And I dare presoom to say that she had named them children a-hopin' and a-expectin' some of the high and religious qualities of their namesakes would strike in. But to set and hear Martin Luther swear at John Wesley wuz a sight. And to see John Wesley clench his fists in Martin Luther's hair and kick him wuz enough to horrify any beholder. But Peter Cooper wuz the worst; to see him take everything away from his brothers he possibly could, and devour it himself, and want everything himself, and be mad if they had anything, and steal from 'em in the most cold-blooded way, and act--why, it wuz enough to make that blessed old philanthropist, Peter Cooper, turn over in his grave.
They wuz dretful troublesome and worrisome to the rest of the boarders, but Mr. Freeman could quell 'em down any time--sometimes by lookin' at 'em and smilin', and sometimes by lookin' stern, and sometimes by candy and oranges.
I declare for't, as I told Miss Plank sometimes, I didn't know what we would have done durin' some hot meal times if it hadn't been for that blessed bacheldor.
I said that right out openly to Miss Plank, and to everybody else. Bein' married happy, I felt free to speak my mind about bacheldors, or anything. Of course, bein' a widder, Miss Plank felt more hampered.
And he wuz good to me in other ways, besides easin' my cares and nerves at the table.
His rooms wuz jest acrost the hall from ourn, and my Josiah's and my room wuz very small; it wuz the best that Miss Plank could do, so I didn't complain. But it wuz very compressed and confined, and extremely hot.
When we wuz both in there sometimes on sultry days, I felt like compressed meat, or as I mistrusted that would feel, sort o' canned up, as it were.
And one warm afternoon, 'most sundown, jest as I opened my door into the hall, to see if I could git a breath of fresh air to recooperate me, Josiah a-pantin' in the rockin'-chair behind me, Mr. Freeman opened his door, and so there we wuz a-facin' each other.
And bein' sort o' took by surprise, I made the observation that "I wuz jest about melted, and so wuz my Josiah, and my room wuz like a dry oven and a tin can."
I wouldn't have said it if I hadn't been so sort o' flustrated, and by the side of myself.
And he jest swung open his door into a big cool parlor, and I could see beyend the doors open into two or three other handsome rooms.
And, sez he, "I wish, Mrs. Allen, that you and your husband would come in here and see if it isn't cooler." Sez he, "I feel rather lonesome, and would be glad to have you come in and visit for a spell."
He told me afterwards that it wuz the anniversary of his mother's death.
He looked sort o' sad, and as if he really wanted company. So we thanked him, or I did, and we walked in and sot down in some big, cool cane-seat easy-chairs.
And we sot there and visited back and forth for quite a spell, and took comfort. Yes, indeed, we did. This room wuz on the cool side of the house, and the still side. And it wuz big and furnished beautiful. It wuzn't Miss Plank's taste, I could see that.
No, her taste is fervent and gorgeous. Gildin' is her favorite embellishment, and chromos, high-colored, and red.
This room wuz covered with pure white mattin', and such rugs on it scattered over the floor as I never see, and don't know as I ever shall see agin.
Some on 'em was pure white silky fur, and some on 'em as rich in colorin' as the most wonderful sunset colors you ever see in the red and golden west, or in the trees of a maple forest in October.
And such pictures as hung on the walls I never see.
Why, on one side of the room hung a picture that looked as if you wuz a-gazin' right out into a green field at sunset. There wuz a deep, cool rivulet a-gurglin' along over the pebbles, and the green, moist rushes--why, you could almost hear it.
And the blue sky above--why, you could almost see right up through it, it looked so clear and transparent. And the cattle a-comin'up through the bars to be milked. Why, you could almost hear the girl call, "Co, boss! co, boss!" as she stood by the side of the bars with her sun-bunnet a-hangin' back from her pretty face, and her milk-pail on her arm.
Why, you could fairly hear the swash, swash of the water, as the old brindle cow plashed through its cool waves.
It beat all I ever see, and Josiah felt jest as I did. The beautiful face of the girl looked dretful familiar to me, though I couldn't tell for my life who it wuz that she looked so much like.
And there on every side of us wuz jest as pretty pictures as that, and some white marble figures, that stood up almost as big as life on their marble pedestals, and aginst the dark red draperies.
Why, take it all in all, it was the prettiest room I had ever looked at in my life, and so I told Mr. Freeman.
And, if you'll believe it, that man up and said right there that we wuz perfectly free to use that room jest as much as we wanted to.
He said he had another room as large as this that he staid in most of his time when he was at home--his writin'-desk wuz in that room. But he was not here much of the time, only to sleep and to his meals.
And as he said this, what should that almost angel man do but to put a key in my hand, so Josiah and I could come in any time, whether he wuz here or not.
Why, I wuz fairly dumbfoundered, and so wuz Josiah. But we thanked him warm, very warm, warmer than the weather, and that stood more'n ninety in the shade.
And I told him--for I see that he really meant what he said--I told him that the chance of comin' in there and settin' down in that cool, big room, once in a while, as a change from our dry oven, would be a boon. And I didn't know but it would be the means of savin' our two lives, for meltin' did seem to be our doom and our state ahead on us, time and time agin.
And he spoke right up in his pleasant, sincere way, and said, "The more we used it the more it would please him."
And then he opened the doors of a big bookcase--all carved off the doors wuz, and the top, and the beautiful head of a white marble female a-standin' up above it. And he sez--
"Here are a good many books that are fairly lonesome waiting to be read, and you are more than welcome to read them."
Wall, I thanked him agin, and I told him that he wuz too good to us. And I couldn't settle it in my own mind what made him act so. Of course, not knowin' at that time that I favored his mother in my looks--his mother he had worshipped so that he kep her room jest as she left it, and wouldn't have a thing changed.
But I didn't know that, as I say, and I said to my Josiah, after we went back into our room--
Sez I, "It must be that we do have a good look to us, Josiah Allen, or else that perfect stranger wouldn't treat us as he has."
"Perfect stranger!" sez Josiah. "Why, we have neighbored with him 'most a week. But," sez he, "you are right about our looks--we are dum good-lookin', both on us. I am pretty lookin'," says he, firmly, "though you hain't willin' to own up to it."
Sez he, "I dare presoom to say, he thought I would be a sort of a ornament to his rooms--kinder set 'em off. And you look respectable," sez he, sort o' lookin' down on me--
"Only you are too fat!" Sez he, "You'd be quite good-lookin' if it wuzn't for that."
And then we had some words.
And I sez, "It hain't none of our merits that angel looks at; it is his own goodness."
"Wall, there hain't no use in your callin' him an angel. You never called me so."
"No, indeed!" sez I; "I never had no occasion, not at all."
And then we had some more words--not many, but jest a few. We worship each other, and it is known to be so, all over Jonesville, and Loontown, and Zoar. And I spozed by that time that Chicago wuz a-beginnin' to wake up to the truth of how much store we sot by each other. But the fairest spring day is liable to have its little spirts of rain, and they only make the air sweeter and more refreshin'.
Wall, from that time, every now and then--not enough to abuse his horsepitality, but enough to let him know that we appreciated his goodness--when our dry oven become heated up beyend what we could seem to bear, we went into that cool, delightful room agin, and agin I feasted my eyes on the lovely pictures on the wall; most of all on that beautiful sunset scene down by the laughin' stream.
And as hot and beat out as I might be, I would always find that pretty girl a-standin', cool and fresh, and dretful pretty, by the old bar post, with her orburn hair pushed back from her flushed cheeks, and a look in her deep brown eyes, and on her exquisite lips, that always put me dretfully in mind of somebody, and who it wuz I could not for my life tell.
Josiah used to take a book out of the bookcase, and read. Not one glance did I ever give, or did I ever let Josiah Allen give to them other rooms that opened out of this, nor into anything or anywhere, only jest that bookcase. We didn't abuse our priveleges; no, indeed!
And Josiah would lean back dretful well-feelin', and thinkin' in his heart that it wuz his good looks that wuz wanted to embellish the room, and I kep on a wonderin' inside of myself what made Mr. Freeman so oncommon good to us, till one day he told us sunthin' that made it plainer to us, and Josiah Allen's pride had a fall (which, if his pride hadn't been composed of materials more indestructible than iron or gutty perchy, it would have been broke to pieces long before, so many times and so fur had it fell).
But Mr. Freeman one day showed us a picture of his mother in a little velvet case. And, sez he to me--
"You look like her; I saw it the first time I met you."
And I do declare the picture did look like me, only mebby--mebby I say, she wuzn't quite so good-lookin'.
Yes, I did look like his mother. And then I see the secret of his interest in, and his kindness to me and mine.
And Mr. Freeman wuz raised up in my mind as many as 2 notches, and I don't know but 3 or 4. To think that he loved his mother's memory so well as to be so kind for her sake, for the sake of a fleetin' likeness, to be so good to another female.
But Josiah Allen looked meachin'. I gin him a dretful meanin' look. I didn't say nothin', only jest that look, but it spoke volumes and volumes, and my pardner silently devoured the volumes, and, as I say, looked meachin' for pretty near a quarter of a hour.
And that is a long time for a man to look smut, and conscience-struck. It hain't in 'em to be mortified for any length of time, as is well known by female pardners.
But we kep on a-goin'. And every single time I went into that beautiful room, whether it wuz broad daylight or lit up by gas, every single time the face of that tall slender girl, a-standin' there so calm by the crystal brook, would look so natural to me, and so sort o' familiar, that I almost ketched myself sayin'--
"Good-evenin', my dear," to it, which would have been perfectly ridiculous in me, and the very next thing to worshippin' a graven image.
And what made it more mysterious to me, and more like a circus (a solemn, high-toned circus), wuz, to ketch ever and anon, and I guess oftener than that, Mr. Freeman's eyes bent on that pretty young face with a look as if he too recognized her, and wanted to talk to her. And some, too, he looked as if she wuz dead and buried, and he wuz a-mournin' deep for her, very deep.
As curious a look as I ever see; and if I hain't seen curious looks in my time, then I will say nobody has. Yes, indeed! I have seen curious looks in my journey through life, curious as a dog, and curiouser.
But there she stood, no matter what looks wuz cast on her from friend or foe--and I guess it would sound better to say from friend or lover, for nobody could be a foe to that radiant-faced, beautiful creeter.
There she stood, in sun or shade, knee-deep in them fresh green grasses, a-lookin' off onto them sunset clouds always rosy and golden, by the side of that streamlet that always had the sparkle on its tiny waves.
I might be tired and weak as a cat, and Mr. Freeman might have the headache, and Josiah Allen be cross, and all fagged out--
But her face wuz always serene, and lit up with the glow of joy and health, and her sweet, deep eyes always held the secret that she couldn't be made to tell.
Mr. Bolster was a stout, middle-aged man, with bald head, side whiskers, and a double chin. And his big blue eyes kinder stood out from his face some. He was a real estate agent, so Miss Plank said. But his principal business seemed to be a-praisin' up Chicago, and a-puffin' up the World's Fair.
Good land! Columbus didn't need none of his patronizin' and puffin' up, and Chicago didn't, not by his tell.
Josiah wuz dretful impressed by him. We didn't lead off to the Fair ground the next day after our arrival. No; at my request, we took life easy--onpacked our trunks and got good and rested, and the mornin' follerin' we got up middlin' early, bein' used to keepin' good hours in Jonesville, and on goin' down to the breakfast-table we found that there wuzn't nobody there but Mr. Bolster. He always had a early breakfast, and drove his own horse into the city to his place of business.
He looked that wide awake and active as if he never had been asleep, and never meant to.
And my companion bein' willin', and Mr. Bolster bein' more than willin', they plunged to once into a conversation concernin' Chicago, Miss Plank and I a-listenin' to 'em some of the time, and some of the time a-talkin' on our own hook, as is the ways of wimmen.
Mr. Bolster--and I believe he knew that we wuz from York State, and did it partly in a boastin' way--he begun most to once to prove that Chicago wuz the only place in America at all suitable to hold the World's Fair in.
And I gin him to understand that I thought that New York would have been a good place for it, and it wuz a disapintment to me and to several other men and wimmen in the State to not have it there.
But Mr. Bolster says, "Why, Chicago is the only place at all proper for it. Why," sez he, "in a way of politeness, Chicago is the only place for it. In what other city could the foreigners be welcomed by their own people as they can here?" Sez he--
"In Chicago over 75 per cent of the population is foreign."
"Yes," sez Josiah, with a air as if he had made population a study from his youth.
But he didn't know nothin' about it, no more than I did.
Sez Mr. Bolster, "Out of a population of a little over a million 200,000, we have nine hundred and 14,000 foreigners. That shows in itself that Chicago is the only city calculated to make our foreign friends feel perfectly at home."
"Yes," sez Josiah, "that is very true."
But I sez to Miss Plank, "There is other folks I like jest as well as I do my relations, and if they had thought so much on 'em, why didn't they stay with 'em in the first place?"
And Miss Plank kinder looked knowin' and nodded her head; she couldn't swing right out free, as I could, bein' hampered by not wantin' to offend any of her boarders.
Sez Mr. Bolster, "Chicago has the most energetic and progressive people in the world. It hain't made up, like a Eastern village, of folks that stay to home and set round on butter-tubs in grocery stores, talkin' about hens. No, it is made up of people who dared--who wuz too energetic, progressive, and ambitious, to settle down and be content with what their fathers had. And they struck out new paths for themselves, as the Pilgrim Fathers did.
"And it is of these people, who represent the advancin' and progressive thought of the day, that Chicago is made up. It embodies the best energy and ambition of the Eastern States and of Europe."
"Yes," sez Josiah, "that is jest so."
And then, sez Mr. Bolster, "Chicago is, as is well known, in the very centre of the earth."
"Yes," sez Josiah.
But I struck in here, and couldn't help it, and, sez I, "That is what Boston has always thought;" and, sez I, candidly, "That is what has always been thought about Jonesville."
He looked pityin'ly at me, and, sez he, "Where is Jonesville?"
And I sez, "Jest where I told you, in the very centre of the earth, as nigh as we can make out."
"How old is the place?" sez Mr. Bolster.
Sez I proudly, "It is more than a hundred and fifty years old, for Uncle Nate Bently's grandfather built the first store there, and helped build the first Meetin'-House; and," sez I, "Uncle Nate is over ninety."
"How many inhabitants has it?" sez he briskly.
And then my own feathers had to droop; and as I paused to collect my thoughts, Josiah spoke up--he is always so forward--and, sez he, "About 200 and 10 or 11."
But I sez, with dignity, "Perhaps I know more about some things than you do, Josiah. There may be, by this time, one or two more inhabitants."
Sez Mr. Bolster, "A growth of about 200 in one hundred years! Chicago is about half as old, and has one million eight hundred thousand population. In ten years the population has increased 108 per cent, and property has increased in the same time 656 per cent, the greatest growth in the world."
He regarded Jonesville as he would a fly in dog days. He went right by it.
"As I was saying, we say nothing about Chicago but what we can prove. Look on the map and you will see for yourself that Chicago is right in the centre of the habitable portion of North America. Put your thumb down on Chicago, and then sweep round it in an even circle with your middle finger, and you will see that it takes in with that sweep all the settled portion of North America."
"Yes," sez Josiah, with a air as if he had proved it with his thumb and finger, time and agin, but he hadn't no such thing.
Sez Mr. Bolster, "We say nothing about our City that we can't prove. As Chicago is in the very centre of productive North America, so it is the centre of population of the United States.
"It is the centre of the raw materials for manufactures, cotton, wool, metals, coal, gas, oil fields, all sorts of food. And as it is the centre of supply, so it is of distribution--60 railroads and branches bring freight and carry out manufactured products to every part of the country--to say nothing of the great number of lines of water transportations--connecting with all parts of the world. Why, last year Chicago had 50 per cent more arrivals and clearances than New York. It is the greatest shipping place in America. And," sez Mr. Bolster, "not only can we prove that Chicago is the centre of the world for manufactures, but it is the healthiest place to live in."
And then agin I spoke out, and, sez I, "I always hearn that it was built on low, swampy ground."
"Yes," sez Mr. Bolster cheerfully, "that is the reason why it is healthy. The ground was originally low and wet, and so it was elevated, filled in. Why, just before the great fire we lifted up all the houses, in the best part of the city, on jack-screws for eight feet, and filled the ground under them. The idea of lifting up a whole city eight feet and making new ground under it! There never was such an undertaking before since the world began.
"And then the fire come, and the city was rebuilt just as we wanted it. Why, the death-rate of Chicago is lower than almost any city of the world except London--it is just about the same as that. Then," sez he, "our climate is perfect; it is so temperate and even that folks don't have to spend all their energies in keeping warm, as they do in colder climates, nor is it so warm that they have to spend their vital energies in fanning themselves."
Sez Josiah, "I had ruther mow a beaver medder in dog days than to fan myself--it wouldn't tire me so much."
Sez Mr. Bolster, "The climate is just right to call forth the prudent saving qualities to provide for the winter; and warm enough to keep them happy and cheerful looking forward to bounteous harvests."
"Wall," sez I, "it got burnt up, anyway."
It fairly provoked me to see him look down so on all the rest of the world.
"Yes," sez he, "that is another evidence of the city's marvellous power and resources. Find me another city, if you can, where in a few hours 200 millions of dollars were burnt up, two thousand 100 acres burnt over, right in the heart of a big city, with a loss of two hundred and ninety million dollars, and then to have it spring up in a marvellously short time--not only as good as new, but infinitely better; so much better that the disaster proved to be an untold blessing to the city."
Truly, as I see, swamps couldn't dround out his self-conceit, nor fire burn it up.
And I knew myself that Chicago had great reason to be proud of her doin's, and I felt it in my heart, only I couldn't bear to see Mr. Bolster act so haughty.
And I sez to my pardner, with quite a lot of dignity, "I guess it is time we are goin', if we get to the Fair in any season."
And Mr. Bolster to once told us what way would be best for us to go. A good-natured creeter he is, without any doubt.
But jest as we wuz startin' I happened to think of a errent that had been sent me by Jim Meesick, he that wuz Philura Meesick's brother.
He wanted to get a place to work somewhere in Chicago, through the Fair, so's to pay his way, and gin him a chance to go to the Fair.
I had already asked Miss Plank about it, but she didn't know of no openin' for him, and I happened to think, mebby Mr. Bolster, seein' he knew everything else, might know of a place where Jim could get work.
And, sez I, "He is handy at anything, and I spoze there are lots of folks here in Chicago that hire help. I spoze some of 'em have as many as four or five hired men apiece."
Sez I, "There are them in Jonesville, durin' the summer time, who employ as high as two men by the day, besides the regular hired man, and I spoze it is so here."
"Yes," sez he; "Mr. Pullmen has five thousand four hundred and fifty hired men, and Philip Armoor has seven thousand seven hundred and seventy-five."
Wall, there wuz no more to be said. Bolster had done what he sot out to do--he had lowered my pride down lower than the Queen of Sheba's ever wuz, by fur. I had no sperit left in me. He might have gone on to me by the hour, and I not sensed it.
But I didn't let on how I felt. I only sez weakly, "Wall, they hain't a-sufferin' for help, I guess, and I'll write to Philura so."
But Bolster, good-natured agin, sez, "I will look round, and see what I can do for him." And he snatched out a note-book, and writ his name down. And I thanked him, and weakly follered my companion from the room.
And I felt that if the door had been much smaller I could have got out of it. I felt very diminutive--very--almost tiny. But I got over it pretty soon. I felt about my usial size as we descended the stairs and stood on the steps, ready to sally out and take the street cars that wuz to transport our bodys to the Christopher Columbus World's Fair.
But while we wuz a-standin' there a-lookin' round to see jest which wuz the best way to go to get to the corner Miss Plank had directed us to, Mr. Bolster come down the steps spry and active as a young cat, and, sez he--
"My carriage is waiting to take me to my orfice, and I will be glad to take you both in, and take you past some of our city sights, and I will leave you at a station where the train will take you right to the grounds."
So we accepted his offer, Josiah with joy and I with a becomin' dignity, and the carriage sot off down the street.
And what follers truly seems like a dream to me, and so duz the talk accompanyin' it. The tall buildin's we looked at, one of 'em 260 feet high, 20 storys--elevators that carry 40,000 passengers--and a garden on the roof, a garden 260 feet in the air, where you can set and talk and eat nut-cakes, and fried oysters--the idee!
And then the block that Mr. Bolster said wuz the largest business block in the world, it accomidated 6000 people. And then we went by big meetin'-housen, and other big housen, whose ruffs seemed so high that it seemed as if you could stand up on the chimblys and shake hands with the man in the moon, and neighbor with him.
And then the talk I hearn--22 miles of river frontage sweepin' up from the lake into the heart of the city, where the giant elevators unload their huge traffic. He told us what the revenue of the city wuz yearly, $25,000,000, 25 millions--the idee!
And Jonesville, fifty years older than Chicago, thinks she has done well if she has 3 dollars and 25 cents in her treasury.
Why, that man used so many immense sums in his talk, that I got all muddled up, and a ort seemed to me almost like a million--I felt queer.
And then the system of Parks and Boulevards, the finest in the world--100 miles of them beautiful pleasure drives. I believe, from what I see afterwards, that he told the truth, for no city, it seems to me, could improve on that long, broad, beautiful way, smooth and tree-bordered, edged with stately homes, leadin' into the matchless beauty of the Parks.
But anon, when I felt that I wuz bein' crushed down beneath a gigantic weight of figgers, and estimates, elevators, population, hite, depth, underground tunnels, and systems of drainage--though every one of 'em wuz a grand and likely subject and awful big--but I felt that I wuz a-bein' crushed by 'em--I felt that the Practical, the Real wuz a crushin' me down--the weight, and noise, and size of the mighty iron wheel of Progress, that duz roll faster in Chicago than in any other place on earth, it seems to me. But I felt so trodden down by it, and flattened out, that I thought I would love to see sunthin' or other different, sunthin' kinder spiritual, and meditate a spell on some of the onseen forces that underlays all human endeavor.
So, at my request, we went out of our way a little, so I could set my eyes on that Temple dreamed out by a woman and wrought a good deal by faith, some like the walls of Jericho, only different, for whereas they fell by faith, this wuz riz up by it.
And my feelin's as I looked at that Temple wuz large and noble-sized as you will find anywhere.
A Temple consecrated not so much to the Almighty in Heaven, who don't need it, as to God in Humanity--to the help of the Divine as it shows itself half buried and lost in the clay of the human--a help to relieve the God powers from the trammels of the fiend--
A Temple--not so much to set, and pray, and sing in, about the beauties of our Heavenly home, as to build up God's kingdom on earth, show forth His praise in helpin' His poor, and weak, and sinful.
My feelin's wuz a sight--a sight to behold, as I sot and looked at it--that tall, noble, majestic pile, and thought of the way it wuz built, and what it wuz built for.
But as we drove on agin, my mind got swamped once more in a sea of immense figgers that swashed up agin me--elevators that carry grain up to the top of towerin' buildin's, 10,000 bushels a hour, and then come down its own self and weigh itself, and I guess put itself into bags and tie 'em up--though he didn't speak in particuler about the tyin' up.
And then he praised their stores--one of 'em which employed 2,000,400 men. And then he praised up their teliphone system, so perfect that nothin' could happen in any part of the city without its bein' known to once at police headquarters.
And then he praised up agin and agin the business qualities and go-ahead-it-ivness of the people, and how property had riz.
"Why," sez he, "Chicago and three hundred miles around it wuz bought for five shillings not so long ago as your little town was founded, and now look at the uncounted millions it represents."
And then he boasted about the Board of Trade, and said its tower wuz 300 feet high. And, sez he, "While folks all over the world are prayin' for their daily bread, the men inside that building was deciding whether they could get it or not."
And after he talked about everything else connected with Chicago, and hauled up figgers and heaped 'em up in front of me till my brain reeled, and my mind tottered back, and tried to lean onto old Rugers' Rithmatick--and couldn't, he wuz so totally inadequate to the circumstances--he mentioned "that they had 6000 saloons in Chicago, and made twenty-one million barrels of beer in a year."
"Wall," sez I, a-turnin' round in the buggy, "my brain has been made a wreck by the figgers you have brung up and throwed at me about the noble, progressive doin's of Chicago, and," sez I firmly, "I wuz willin' to have it, for I respect and honor the people who could do such wonders, and keepon a-doin' 'em, to the admiration of the world. But," sez I, "my brain shall not totter under none of your beer and whiskey statisticks." And as I spoke I put my hand to my fore-top, and I looked quite bad, and truly I felt so.
He glanced at me, and see that I wuz not in a situation to be trifled with.
And as we wuz jest approachin' the station where we wuz to be left, he ceased his remarks, and held his horse in.
He helped me to alight, and I thanked him for his kindness, and acted as polite as a person could whose brain lay a wreck in the upper part of her head. The last word Mr. Bolster said to us wuz, as he gathered up the reins, sez he:
"Thirty-six lines of cars come to and leave Chicago, which, with its immense shipping facilities, makes it the--"
But the cars tooted jest then, and I didn't hear his last words, and I wuz glad on't, as I say, I had thanked him before.
But good land! he would have carried two giraffes or camels willin'ly if he could have got 'em into his buggy, and sot 'em up by him on the seat, and could have boasted to 'em understandin'ly about Chicago. But I guess he is well-meanin'.
