Literature · Humor

Samantha at the World's Fair 11

Chapter 10

HolleyEnglish

Wall, after he left us we boarded some cars, and found ourselves, with the inhabitants of several States, I should judge, borne onwards towards the White City.

And anon, or about that time, we found ourselves at a depot, where wuz the entire census of several other States, and Territories.

There we wuz right in front of the Gole, and I don't believe there wuz a better-lookin' Gole sence the world begun.

The minute we left the cars we found ourselves between two lines of wild-lookin' and actin' men, a-tryin' to sell us things we hadn't no need on.

What did I want with a cane? or Josiah with a little creepin' beetle? And what did I want with galluses?

They didn't use no judgment, and their yellin's wuz fearful; whatever else they had, they didn't have consumption, I don't believe.

After payin' our two fares, a little gate sort o' turned round and let us in to the Columbian World's Fair--that marvellous city of magic; and anon, if not a little before, the Adminstration Buildin' hove up in front of us.

All the descriptions in the World can't give no idee of the wonderful proportions of the buildin's and the charm of the surroundin's. The minute you pass the gate you are overwhelmed with the greatness, charm, and nobility, the impressive, onspeakable aspect of the buildin's.

The stucco, of which most of the buildin's are composed, made it possible for the artist and the architect to carry out their idees to a magnitude never before attempted. It is a material easy to be moulded into all rare and artistic shapes and groupin's, and still cheap enough to be used as free as their fancy dictated, and is as beautiful as marble.

Colossial buildin's, beautiful enough for any Monarch, and which no goverment on earth wuz ever rich enough to carry out in permanent form.

Wall, as I said, the Adminstration Buildin' wuz the one that hove up directly in front of us.

It towers up in the circumambient air with its great gilded dome, and seems to begen to us all to come and pass through it into the marvels beyend.

This buildin' is like a main spring to a watch, or the pendulum to a gigantick clock--it regulates the hull of the rest of the works. Here is the headquarters of the managers of the World's Fair--the fire and police departments--the press, and them that have charge of the foreign nations.

Here is a bank, post-office, and the department of general information about the Fair.

And never, never sence the creation of the world has old General Information had a better-lookin' place to stay in.

Why, some folks call this high, magnificent buildin', with its great shinin' dome, the handsomest buildin' amongst that city of matchless palaces. It covers four acres, every acre bein' more magnificent than the other acres. Why, the Widder Albert herself gin Mr. Hunt, the architect, a ticket, she was so tickled with his work.

The dome on top of it is the biggest dome in the world, with the exception of St. Peter's in Rome. And it seemed to me, as I looked up at the dome, that Peter might have got along with one no bigger than this.

Howsumever, it hain't for me to scrimp anybody in domes. But this wuz truly enormious.

But none too big, mebby, for the nub on top of the gate of the World's Fair. That needs to be mighty in size, and of pure gold, to correspond with what is on the inside of the gate.

But never wuz there such a gorgeous gate-way before, unless it wuz the gate-way of Paradise.

Why, as you stood inside of that dome and looked way up, up, up towards the top, your feelin's soared to that extent that it almost took you offen your feet.

Noble pictures and statutes you see here, too. Some on 'em struck tremendious hard blows onto my appreciation, and onto my head also.

And a-lookin' on 'em made me feel well, dretful well, to see how much my sect wuz thought on in stun, and canvas, and such.

There wuz Diligence, a good-lookin' woman, workin' jest as she always has, and is willin' to; there she sot a-spinnin' and a-bringin' up her children as good as she knew how.

Mebby she wuz a-teachin' a Sunday-school lesson to the boy that stood by her.

He had his arms full of ripe fruit and grapes. I am most afraid for his future, but she wuz a-teachin' him the best she could; you could see that by her looks.

Then there wuz Truth, another beautiful woman, a-holdin' a lookin'-glass in her hand, and a-teachin' another little boy. Mebby it wuz the young Future she wuz a-learnin' to tell the truth, anyway, no matter how much it hurt him, how hard it hit aginst old custom and prejudices. He wuz a-leanin' affectionate on her, but his eyes wuz a-lookin' away--fur off. Mebby he'll hear to her, mebby he will--he's young; but I feel kinder dubersome about it.

She held her glass dretful high. Mebby she laid out that Uncle Sam should see his old features in it, and mebby she wuz a-remindin' him that he ortn't to carve woman as a statute of Truth, and then not be willin' to hear her complaints when she tries to tell him about 'em, in his own place, where he makes his laws, year in and year out.

If he believes she is truthful--and he must, or he wouldn't name her Truth and set her up so high for the nations to look at--what makes him, year after year, act towards wimmen as if he believed she wuz a-lyin'? It is onreasonable in him.

And then there wuz Abundance, a woman and a man. I guess they had an abundance of everything for their comfort, and it looked real good to see they wuz both a-sharin' it.

She wuz a-settin' in a chair, and he wuz on the floor. That might do for a Monument, or Statute, but I don't believe they would foller it up so for day after day in real life, and they hadn't ort to. Men and wimmen ort to have the same settin' accommodations, and standin' too, and ort to be treated one of 'em jest as well as the other. They are both likely creeters, a good deal of the time.

Then there wuz Tradition. Them wuz two old men, as wuz nateral--wimmen wuzn't in that--woman is in the future and the present. Them two men, a-lookin' considerable war-like, wuz a-talkin' over the past--the deeds of Might.

They didn't need wimmen so much there, and I didn't feel as if I cared a cent to have her there.

When they git to talkin' over the deeds of Right, I'd want wimmen to be present. And she will be there.

And then there wuz Liberty, agin a woman, beautiful and serene, a-depicterin' Liberty, and agin a-holdin' her arms round a young male child, and a-teachin' him.

That, too, filled me with high hope, that Uncle Sam had at last discovered the mean actions that wuz a-goin' on about wimmen; that he had seen the chains that wuz a-bindin' her, and a-gaulin' her.

He wouldn't be likely to depicter her as Liberty, and set her up so high in the gate-way to the World's Fair, if he calculated to keep her on in the slavery she is now, a-bindin' her with her own heart-strings--takin' away her power to help her own heart's dearest, in their fights aginst the evils and temptations of the World.

No, I believe Uncle Sam is a-goin' to turn over a new leaf--anyway, Liberty sot up there, a-lookin' off with a calm mean, and there wuz a smile on her face, as if she see a light in the future that begened to her.

And then, there wuz Charity; of course she wuz a woman--she always is.

She had two little boys by her; one had his hand on her heart, and that faithful heart wuz filled with love and pity for him, jest as it always has been, and always will be. Another wuz a-kneelin' at her feet, with her fosterin' hand on his head. A good-lookin' creeter Charity wuz, and well behaved.

Joy seemed to be enjoyin' herself first rate. Her pretty face seemed to answer back the music that the youth at her feet wuz a-rousin' from his magic flute.

Theology wuz a wise, reverend-lookin' old man, a-thinkin' up a sermon, or a-thinkin' out some new system of religion, I dare presoom to say, for his book seemed to be half closed, and he wuz lost in deep thought.

He looked first rate--a good and well-behaved old man, I hain't a doubt on't.

Then, there wuz Patriotism--a man and a woman. He, a-standin' up ready to face danger, or die for his country; she, with her arms round him, a-lookin' up into his face, as if to say--

"If you must go, I will stay to home with a breakin' heart, and take care of the children, and do the barn chores."

They both looked real good and noble. Mr. Bitters done first rate--Josiah couldn't have begun to done so well, nor I nuther.

Then there wuz a dretful impressive statute there, a grand-lookin' old man, with his hand uplifted, a-tellin' sunthin' to a young child, who wuz a-listenin' eagerly.

I d'no who the old man wuz; there wuz broad white wings a-risin' up all round him, and it might be he wuz meant to depicter the Recordin' Angel; if he wuz, he could have got quills enough out of them wings to do all his writin' with.

And it might be that it wuz Wisdom instructin' youth.

And it might be some enterprisin' old goose-raiser a-tellin' his oldest boy the best way to save the white wings of ganders.

But I don't believe this wuz so. There wuz a riz up, noble look on the old man's face that wuz never ketched, I don't believe, with wrestlin' with geese on a farm, and neighbors all round him.

No, I guess it wuz the gray and wise old World a-instructin' the young Republic what to do and what not to do.

The child looked dretful impetuous and eager, and ready to start off any minute, a good deal as our country does, and I presoom wherever the child wuz a-startin' for it will git there.

A noble statute. Mr. Bitters did first rate.

But when I git started on pictures and statutes--I don't know where or when to stop.

But time hastens, and to resoom.

As I reluctantly tore myself away from the glory and grandeur inside, and passed through the buildin' to the outside, and a full view of the Court of Honor busted on to our bewildered vision, I did--I actually did feel weak as a cat.

Never agin--never agin will such a seen glow and grow before mine eyes, till the streets of the New Jerusalem open before my vision.

Beyend that wide Plaza, that long basin of clear sparklin' water, dotted all over its glowin' bosom with fairy-like gondolas, and gondolers, dressed in all the colors of the rainbow, or picturesque launches, with their gay freight of happy sightseers. And here and there, jest where they wuz needed, to look the best, wuz statutes and banners and the most gorgeous fountain that ever dripped water.

Then the broad flights of snowy marble steps risin' from the water to the green flowery terraces, and then above them the magnificent white wonders of the different buildin's.

And standin' up aginst the sky, and the blue waters of the lake, the tall ivory columns of the Perestyle stood, like a immense beautiful screen, to guard this White City of magic splendor.

And risin' from the blue waters of the Basin stands the grand figure of the Republic, towerin' up a hundred feet high, lookin' jest as she ort to look. Calm, stately, but knowin' in her heart jest what she had done, and jest what she hadn't done, knowin' jest what she had to be proud on, if she only let her mind run on't.

But there wuz no high-headedness, no tostin' of her neck. No, fair and stately and serene as a dream Queen, she stood a fittin' centre for the onspeakable beauty of her surroundin's.

It wuz all perfect, everything--no flaw in the perfect harmony of the seen. No limit to its onapproachable beauty. Yes, the glory of that seen as it bust onto my raptured vision will go with me through life, and won't never be outdone and replaced by anything more perfect, till that rapt hour when the mortal puts on immortality, and the glory that no eye hath seen busts on my glorified vision.

And as we wended onwards and got still further views of the matchless wonders of the Columbus World's Fair--wall, I gin in, and felt and said, that I spozed I had had emotions all my life, and sights of 'em; why, I have had 'em as high as from 70 to 80 a minute right along for a hour on a stretch--sometimes when I have been rousted up about sunthin'.

But when I stood stun still in my tracts, and the full glory and beauty of that seen of wonder and enchantment broke onto my almost enraptured vision, I gin up that I never had had a emotion in my hull life, not one, nothin' but plain, common breathin's and sithes.

When I see these snowy palaces, vast and beautiful and dreamlike, risin' up from the blue waters, and their pure white columns and statuary reflected into the mirrow below, and the green beauty of the Wooded Island, and the tall trees a-dottin' them here and there--

And when I see the lagoon a-windin' along, and arched over with bridges, like the best of the beauty of Venice born agin, perfect and fresh in the heart of the New World--

When I beheld the immense quantity of shrubs and flowers of every kind known to the world--

And all along the blue waters of the Grand Basin, surrounded by the magnificence and glory of these beautiful palaces--the fountains a-sprayin' up, and waters a-flashin', and banners a-flyin', and the tall white statutes a-standin' on every side of us a-watchin' us with their still eyes, to see how we took in the transcendent seen, and how we appeared under the display--wall, I stood, as I say, stun still in my tracts, and sez to myself--

"It would be jest as easy to comprehend the wonder of this Exposition by readin' about it, as it would be for any one to try to judge Niagara by lookin' at a pan of dishwater."

They are both water, but different, fur different.

And you have got to take in the wonder and majesty of the sight, through the pores as it wuz, through all your soul, not at first, but it has got to grow and soak in, and make it a part of yourself.

And then, when you have, you hain't a-goin' to describe it--words can't do it; you can walk through it and talk about the size of the buildin's, and the wonders of the display, but that hain't a-goin' to describe it, no more than the pan of dishwater can explain Niagara.

You can converse about Niagara, the depth, the eddies, the swirl of the waters, the horseshoe falls, the rainbow that rises over it, the grotto, the slate-stun on the banks below, and so forth, and so forth, and so on.

And how to show off the might and rush of the volume of water that shakes the earth, the mountain of shinin' mist that floats up to the wonderin' and admirin' heavens--how to paint this wonderful and inexpressible glory by tongue, how to put in words that which is mightier than any words that wuz ever said or sung! Wonder and awe, overwhelmin' sensation that makes the pulse stop and then beat agin in bounds.

When you paint a picture showin' the full power and depth of a mother's love; when you can paint the ardor and extacy that inspires the hero's soul as he leads the forlorn hope, and dies with his face to the foe--

Then you may try to describe Niagara; no pen, no tongue can describe this ever rushin', ever old and ever new Wonder of the new world.

And no more can any pen describe the World's Fair, the tall, towerin' fruit of the four-century tree of civilization, and liberty, and equal rights.

You can talk about the buildin's--how they are made, how long and wide they are. You can talk about the lagoons, the Grand Basin, the Bridges, the Statutes, the Fountains, the wonders of the flowers and foliage, the grandeur of the display, and so forth, and so forth, and so forth.

But how to describe this as a hull, its immensity, its concentrated might of material, practical beauty and use, that moves the world with its volume and power--

Or the more wonderful forces and influences that arise from it, like a gold mist seekin' the Heavens, to fall in showers of blessin's to the uttermost ends of the earth--knowledge, wisdom, and beauty, of Freedom, and Individual Liberty, Educational, Moral, and Beneficent influences--who is a-goin' to describe all this?

I can't, nor Josiah, nor Miss Plank, nor nobody. No, Mr. Bolster couldn't.

Why, jest a-lookin' at it cracked the Old Liberty Bell, and I don't wonder. I spoze she tried to swing out and describe it, and bust her old sides in the attempt; anyway, that is what some think. The new crack is there, anyway. Who'd a thought on't--a bell that has stood so many different sights, and kep herself together? But I wuzn't surprised a mite to think it wuz too much for her--no, nobody could describe it.

I know Miss Plank couldn't, for we met her there, or ruther she come onto us, as I stood stun still and nearly lost, and by the side of myself, and I felt so queer that I couldn't hardly speak to her. I don't know but she thought I felt big and haughty, but good land! how mistook she wuz if she thought so! I felt as small as I stood there that very minute, as one drop of milk in the hull milky way.

But when my senses got kinder collected together, and my emotions got quelled down a little, I passed the usual compliments with Miss Plank--"How de do?" and so forth.

And she proposed that we should go round a little together--she said that she had been here so many times, that she felt she could offer herself as our "Sissy Roney."

She looked at Josiah as she spoke kinder kokettish, and I thought to myself, You are a-actin' pretty kittenish for a woman of your age.

"Sissy!" Sez I to myself, the time for you to be called "sissy" rightfully lays fur back in the past--as much as fifty years back, anyway. As for the "Roney," I didn't know what she did mean, but spozed it wuz some sort of a pet name that had been gin her fur away in that distant past.

And I spozed she had brung it up to kinder attract Josiah Allen; but, good land! if his morals hadn't been like iron for solidity, I knew that for her to try to flirt wuz like a old hen to try to bite; they don't have no teeth, hens don't, even when they are young, and they won't be likely to have any when they are fifty or sixty years old. So I looked on with composure, and didn't take no notice of her flirtacious ways, and I consented to her propisition, and Josiah did too. That man hadn't been riz up by his emotions as I had, by the majesty and glory of the scene--no, he felt pretty chipper; and Miss Plank, after she quieted down a little, and ceased talkin' about her girlish days, she could think, even in that rapt hour, of pancakes; for she mentioned, when I spoke of how high the waters of the fountain riz up, "Yes," sez she--

"Speakin' of risin', I left some pancakes a-risin' before I left home;" and she wondered if the cook would tend to 'em.

Pancakes! in such a time as this.

And then Josiah proposed to go and see the live stock, and Miss Plank said dreamily that she would like to go to a certain restaurant at the fur end of the grounds to see the cookin' of a certain chef; she had heard it went ahead of anything in America.

"Chef"--I didn't want to act green, but I did wonder what "chef" wuz. I thought mebby it wuz chaff she meant, and I spozed they had got up some new way to cook chaff.

I would liked to seen it and tasted of it, but Duty begened to me, and I followed her blindly, and I sez, as I planted my umbrell firm down on the ground, sez I--

"Here I take my stand; I don't often stand out and try to have my way--"

Here Josiah gin a deep groan out to one side, but he no need to--I spoke truth, or pretty near the truth, anyway.

Sez I, "Here I take my stand!" and I brung down my good cotton umbrell agin firmly, as if to punctuate my remarks, and add weight to it, and I wuz so earnest that before I knew it I fell into a fervid eloquence--catched from my old revolutionary 4 fathers, I spoze--and, sez I--

"I care not what course others may take--"

"But," sez Miss Plank, "we will hang together in such a crowd as this."

"Yes," sez Josiah; "you mustn't go wanderin' off by yourself, Samantha; it hain't safe."

I wuz brung down some, but I kep on with considerable eloquence, though it wuz kinder drizzlin' away onbeknown to me, such is the power of environment.

Sez I, "I care not what course others may take, I will go first to the place my proud heart has dwelt on ever sence the Fair wuz opened--

"I will go first to the Woman's Buildin', home of my sect, and my proud ambition and love."

Miss Plank demurred, and said "that it wuz some distance off;" but I held firm--Josiah see that I wuz firm--and he finally gin in quite graciously, and, sez he--

"I don't spoze it will take long, anyway, to see all that wimmen has brung here--and I spoze the buildin' will be a sight--all trimmed off with ornaments, and flowers, and tattin'; mebby they will have lace all festooned on the outside."

Sez he, "I always did want to see a house trimmed with bobinet lace on the outside, and tattin' and ribbin streamers."

I wouldn't dain a reply; he did it to lower my emotions about wimmen.

But it wuz impossible. So we turned our bodies round and set off north by northwest.

Agin Miss Plank mentioned the distance, and agin my Josiah spoke longin'ly of the live stock.

And I sez with a calm dignity, "Josiah, you are not a woman."

"No," sez he, "dum it all, I know I hain't, and so there hain't much chance of my gettin' my way."

I kep on calmly, and with the same lofty mean, "You are not a woman, and therefore you can't tell a woman's desires that go with me, to see the glorification of her own sect, in their great and lofty work, and the high thrones on which they have sot themselves in the year of our Lord, 1893; I am sot," sez I, "I am sot as ever the statute of America is on her marble pedestal, jest so solid am I riz up on the firm and solid foundation of my love, and admiration, and appreciation for my own sect."

And so, as I say, we turned round in our tracts and went back round that noble Adminstration Buildin'--

Josiah a-talkin' anon or oftener about what he expected to see in the Woman's Buildin', every one on 'em light and triflin' things, such as gauzes, and artificial flowers, and cossets, and high-heel shoes, and placks, and tattin', and etc.

And I anon a-answerin' his sneerin' words, and the onspoken but fatigued appeals in Miss Plank's eyes, by sayin'--

"Do you suppose I would hurt the feelin's of my sect, do you suppose I would mortify 'em before the assembled nations of the earth, by slightin' 'em, by not payin' attention to 'em, and makin' 'em the first and prime object of my distinguished and honorable consideration?

"No, indeed; no, indeed!"

So we went on at a pretty good jog, and a-meetin' every single person in the hull earth, every man, woman, and child, black and white, bond and free, lame and lazy, or it did seem so to my wearied and bewildered apprehenshion.

And I sez to myself mekanicly, what if conflagrations should break out in Asia, or the chimbly get afire in Australia, or a earthquake take place in Africa, or a calf get into the waterin' trough at Jonesville, who would git it out or put 'em out?

Everybody in the hull livin' world is here; the earth has dreaned off all its livin' inhabitants down into this place; some of the time I thought mebby one or two would be left in Jonesville, and Loontown, and the hind side of Asia, and Hindoostan; but as I wended on and see the immense crowd, a-passin' out of one buildin' and a-passin' in to another, and a-swarmin' over the road and a-coverin' the face of the water, I sez to myself--

"No, there hain't a soul left in Hindoostan, or Jonesville, not one; nor Loontown, nor Shackville, nor Africa, nor Zoar."

It wuz a curious time, very, but anon, after we had wended on for some distance, and Miss Plank looked some wilted, and Josiah's steps dragged, and my own frame felt the twinges of rheumatiz--

Miss Plank spoke up, and sez she, "If you are bound on going to the Woman's Building first, why not take a boat and go around there, and that will give you a good view of the buildings."

I assented to her propisition with alacrity, and wondered that I hadn't thought of it before, and Josiah acted almost too tickled.

That man loves to save his steps; and then, as I soon see, he had another idee in his head.

Sez he, "I always wanted to be a mariner--I will hire a boat and be your boatman."

"Not with me for a passenger, Josiah Allen," sez I. "I want to live through the day, anyway; I want to live to see the full glory of my sect; I don't want to be drownded jest in front of the gole."

He looked mad--mad as a hen; but he see firmness in my mean, so we went back, and down a flight of steps to the water's edge, and he signalled a craft that drew up and laid off aginst us--a kinder queer-shaped one, with a canopy top, and gorgeous dressed boatmen--and we embarked and floated off on the clear waters of the Grand Basin. Oh! what a seen that would have been for a historical painter, if Mr. Michael Angelo had been present with a brush and some paint!

Josiah Allen's Wife a-settin' off for the express purpose of seein' and admirin' the work of her own sect, and right in front of her the grand figger of Woman a-standin' up a hundred feet high; but no higher above the ordinary size of her sect wuz she a-standin' than the works of the wimmen I wuz a-settin' out to see towered up above the past level of womankind. Oh, what a hour that wuz for the world! and what a seen that wuz for Josiah Allen's Wife to be a-passin' through, watched by the majestic figger of Woman.

The green, tree-dotted terraces bloomin' with flowers a-risin' up from the blue water, and above the verdent terraces the tall white walls of them gorgeous palaces, a-risin' up with colonades, and statutes, and arabesques, and domes, and pinnacles, and on the smooth white path that lay in front of 'em, and on every side of 'em, the hull world a-walkin' and a-admirin' the seen jest as much as we did. And if there wuzn't everything else to look at and admire, the looks of that crowd wuz enough--full enough--for one pair of eyes; for they wuz from every country of the globe, and dressed in every fashion from Eve, and her men folks, down to the fashions of to-day.

And anon we would come to a bridge gracefully arched over the water, and float under it, and then sail on, and on, and on, past the vast palace 45 acres big, and every single acre of 'em majestic and beautiful more than tongue can tell or give any idee on, and then by some more of them matchless marvels of housen crowned with pinnacles, and domes, and wavin' banners, and then by the electrical buildin', with white towers, and battlements, and sculptured loveliness, on one side of us, and, on the other, that beautiful Wooded Island, that is a hantin' dream of beauty inside of a dream of matchless loveliness.

Acres and acres of flowers of every kind and color; the perfume floated out and wrapped us round like a sweet onseen mantilly, as we floated past fur dim isles of green trees, with domes and minarets a-risin' up above the billows of emerald richness, and then anon, under another bridge, and more of them enchantin' wonders of Art, and on, under another one, and another.

And my emotions all of the time wuz what no man might number, and as for the size of 'em, there hain't no use of talkin' about sortin' 'em out, or weighin' 'em--no steel yards on earth could weigh the little end on 'em, let alone weighin' the hull caboodle of 'em.

No Rasfodist that ever rasfodized could do justice to the transcendent grandeur that shone out on every side of us.

No, the rasfodist would have to set down and hold up his hands before him, as I have done sometimes before a big pile of work, when I have seen a wagon load of visitors a-stoppin' at the gate to stay all day.

I have just clasped my hands and sez, "Oh dear me!"

Or in aggravated cases I would say, mebby,

"Oh dear me suz!"

And that wuz about all I could say here.

Yes, my feelin's, I do believe, if they could have been gazed on, would have been jest about as a impressive a sight to witness as the Columbian Fair.

But anon my rapt musin's wuz broke into sudden; I heard as through a dream a voice say--

"If she forgets to take the dough off from the dry oven, the pancakes will run over."

"Pancakes!"

It wuz like Peri in Paradise callin' for root-beer; it brung me down to the world agin, and anon I heard my pardner say--

"Wall, I wish I had a few of 'em this minute, Miss Plank."

Eatin' at such a time as this--the idee!

But I wuz brung clear down, and I don't know but it wuz jest as well, for it wuz time for us to alight from our bark.

And with the feelin's I had ever sence I started, I wuz that riz up that I could almost expect to step over the lagoon at one stride and swing my foot clear over the hull noble flight of marble steps, and the wide terrace, and land in front of the Woman's Buildin'. With my head even with its highest cupalo, I wuz fearfully riz up, and by the side of myself.

But these allusions to pancakes had brung me down, so I stepped meekly out on to the broad, noble flight of steps, and the full beauty of the Woman's Buildin' riz up in front of us.

Even Josiah wuz impressed with the simple, noble perfection of that buildin'. I heard him say--

"By Crackey! not a bit of lace or tattin'; not a streamer of ribbin. Well done for wimmen; they have riz up for once above gauzes, and flummeries, and ornaments."

"No," sez I; "if you want to look at ornament, you might look at the Adminstration Buildin', designed by a man. Men love ornament, Josiah Allen."

He quailed; he hadn't forgot the pink necktie he wanted to adorn himself with, and the breastpin he wanted to put on that mornin'.

The waters of the lagoon in front of the buildin' is as wide as a bay; from the centre of this rises the grand landin' and staircase, leadin' to a terrace six feet above the water.

The first terrace is laid out in glowin' flower-beds, and anon, green flowerin' shrubs, above which the ivory white balustrade shines out, separatin' it from the upper terrace.

And along the upper terrace, about one hundred feet back, the beautiful Woman's Buildin' rises, with a background of stately old oak trees.

This most artistic and beautiful buildin' consists of a centre pavilion, flanked at each end by corner pavilions, connected by open corridors forming a sheltered and beautiful walk the hull length of the structure. On goin' through a wide lobby you come into a vast open rotunda reachin' clear up to the top of the buildin', where the sunlight falls down most graciously through a richly ornamented skylight. This rotunda is surmounted by a two-story open arcade, as delicate and refined in its beauty as the outside of the buildin', givin' light and air in abundance to all of the rooms openin' into the interior space. On the first floor, on the right hand, is located a model kindergarten; on the left, a model horsepital. You see, these two things are attended to the first thing by wimmen.

Wimmen have always had to take time by the forelock and do the most important things first, or she never would be done with her work.

Before she tackled the ironin', or dishwashin', or piecin' up bedquilts, or knittin', she has always had to dress, and nurse, and take care of the children, make them comfortable, and take care of the sick; had to, or it wouldn't be done.

And she wuzn't goin' to stop her good, tender, motherly doin's here--not at all. No; the children, the future hope of our country, the Lord's work laid onto mothers, is on the right side.

Here are shown the very latest and best helps in takin' care and trainin' up these little immortals, teachin' them to be good first, and then wise, and healthy all the time--the most important work in the hull world, in my estimation; for the children we spank to-day will hold the destinies of the human race in their hands to-morrow.

Yes, on the right hand the children; on the left hand is a model horsepital, not merely a exhibit, but a real horsepital, at full work in its blessed and sanctified labor, a-takin' care of the sick and smoothin' the brows racked with agony, alleviatin' the distresses of the frame racked with pain.

What another good work! Can a man show anything at their hull Columbus World's Fair--anything that will equal these two blessed labors?

No; he can show lots of knowledge and wisdom, and he can show guns, and cannons, and pistols, boey-knives, to cut and slash; but it is woman's work (blessed angel that she is, a good deal of the time), it is them that shows this broad, efficient system of relieving the hurts and distresses of the world. Besides the most skilled of our own country, foreign nations send their best-trained nurses from their trainin' schools, showin' the latest and most perfect methods of relievin' pain and agony.

And not contented with showin' off here what they could do, and how they do it--not content with makin' this one big room a perfect nest for female good Samaritans--a carin' for the sick and dyin'--

They have soared out of this room--60 by 80 feet couldn't confine 'em--they have located all over the grounds horsepitals to care for them who are took sick here at Columbuses doin's, and, good creeters, I suppose they will have their hands full, specially in dog days.

Yes, woman begun her work jest as she ort to, right on the ground floor--on the right, the children; on the left, the sick and helpless.

Right opposite the main front is the library, furnished by the wimmen of New York. It is one of the largest and finest rooms in the house, and every book in it writ by a woman.

And right here I see my own books; there they wuz a-standin' up jest as noble and pert as if they wuz to home in the what-not behind the parlor door, not a-feelin' the least mite put out before princes, or zars. A-standin' jest as straight in front of a king as a cow-boy, not a-humpin' themselves up in the latter instance, or a-meachin' in the more former one.

I felt proud on 'em to see their onbroken dignity and simplicity of mean. And, thinkses I, the demeanor of them books is a lesson to Republics--how to act before Royalties; not a-backin' up and a-actin', not put out a mite, not forward, and not too backward--jest about megum.

A-keepin' right on in their own spear, jest as usial, not intrudin' themselves and a-pushin', but ready to greet 'em and give 'em the best there wuz in 'em, if occasion called for it, and then ready to bid 'em a calm, well-meanin' farewell when the time come to part.

It wuz a great surprise to me, and how they got there wuz a mystery. But I spoze the nation collected 'em together and sot 'em up there because it sets such a store by me. It is dretful fond of me, the nation is, and well it may be. I have stood up for it time and agin, and then I've done a sight for it in the way of advisin' and bracin' it up.

As I stood and looked at them books I got carried a good ways off a-ridin' on Wonder--a-wonderin' whether them books had done any good in the world.

I'd wanted 'em to, I'd wanted 'em to like a dog. Sometimes I'd felt real riz up a-thinkin' they had, and then agin I've felt dubersome.

But I knew they had gin great enjoyment, I'd hearn on't. Why, the minister up to Zoar had told me of as many as seven relations of hisen, who, when they wuz run down and weak, and had kinder lost their minds, had jest clung to them books.

In softenin' of the brain now, or bein' kicked on the head, or nateral brain weakness--why, them books are invaluable, so I spoze.

But to resoom. The corner pavilion, like all the rest of the buildin', have each a open colonade above the main cornice. Here are the hangin' gardens, and also the committee rooms of the lady managers.

This palace of beauty wuz designed by a woman--woman has got to have the credit for everything about it.

A woman designed the hull buildin'; a woman modelled the figgers that support the ruff; a woman won fairly in competition the right to decorate the cornice. The interior decoration, much of it carved work, is done by wimmen; panels wuz carved by wimmen all over the country and brought here to decorate the walls.

And not only decorated, but in a good many rooms the woodwork wuz finished by wimmen. California has a room walled and ceiled with redwood by wimmen.

And wimmen of all the States, from Maine and Florida, have joined to make the place beautiful. Even the Indian wimmen made richly embroidered hangin's for the doors and windows.

The wimmen managers wuz the first wimmen that wuz ever officially commissioned by Congress, and never have wimmen swung out so, or, to be poetical, never have they cut so wide and broad a swath on the seedy old fields of Time, as they do to this Fair. They can exhibit with the best of the contestants, men or wimmen, and by act of Congress represent their own sect on the Jury of Award.

Congress did the fair thing by wimmen in this matter. Let him step up one step higher on the hill of justice, and gin 'em the right to set on the jury of award or punishment when their own honor is at the stake.

It has let wimmen tell which is the best piece of woosted work, or tattin'; now let her be judged by her peers when life or death is the award meted out to 'em. But to resoom.

The Gallery of Honor is the centre hall of the buildin', and runs almost the entire length, and openin' out of it is the display that shows that wimmen wuz really the first inventors and producers of what wuz useful as well as beautiful, and that men took up the work when money could be made from it.

Here is the work of the first and rudest people, but all made by female wimmen--the rough, hard buds of beauty and labor; and in the Central hall, like these buds open in full bloom and beauty, is the fruit of the most advanced thought and genius.

The interior glows with soft and harmonious colors, and chaste ornamentation.

Mrs. Candace Wheeler, of New York, had charge of the decoration, which is sayin' enough for its beauty, if you didn't say anything else, and Illinois and the rest of the world wuz grand helpers in the work of beauty.

The Gallery of Honor, the central hall of the buildin', runs almost the entire length. The noble, harmonious beauty of this room strikes you as you first enter, some as it would if you come up sudden out of the woods, a-facin' a gorgeous sunset--or sunrisin', I guess, would be a suitabler metafor.

The colorin' of this room is ivory and gold, in delicate and beautiful designs. But the pictures that cover the walls adds the bright tints neccessary to make the hull picture perfect.

The beautiful panels on the side walls are the work of American artists. One, on the west side, by Amanda Brewster Sewall, represents an Algerian pastural seen, showing country maids tendin' their flocks; which proves that Algerian girls are first-rate lookin', and that dumb brutes in Algeria, though it is so fur from Jonesville, have got to be tended to, and that wimmen have got to tend to 'em a good deal of the time.

The other paintin', on the same side, is the work of Miss Fairchild, of Boston, and it shows our old Puritan 4 Mothers hard to work, a-takin' care of their housen and doin' up the work. Likely old creeters they wuz, and industrius.

Opposite, on the east side, is a panel by Mrs. Lydia Emmet Sherwood--another group of wimmen; good-lookin' wimmen they be, all on 'em. And the other panel, by Miss Lydia Emmet, shows the interior of a studio, with young females a-studyin' different arts that are useful and ornamental, and calculated to help themselves and the world along. At the north end of this great gallery is a large panel by Mrs. MacMonnies, wife of the sculptor, representin' Primitive Wimmen. A-showin', plain as nobody less gifted than she could, jest how primitive wimmen used to be.

Opposite, on the south side, is a companion piece by Miss Cassette, of Paris, called Modern Wimmen, and a-showin' up first rate how fur wimmen have emerged from the shadders of the past.

The centre panel depicters a orchard covered with bright green grass, and graceful female wimmen a-gatherin' apples offen the tree.

Apples of knowledge, I spoze, but different from Eve's--fur different; these wuz peaceful Knowledge, Literature, Art, and all beautiful and useful industries.

A smaller panel describes Music and Dancin' in a charmin' way.

On the other side of the central panel are several maidens pursuin' a flyin' figger.

Mebby it wuz the Ideal. If it wuz, I wuz glad to see them young females a-follerin' it up so clost. But girls will be more apt to catch her, when they leave off cossets, and long trains, and high-heeled shoes (metafor). But these seemed to be a-doin' the best they could, anyway.

A border in rich colors went all round the picture, and in the corners wuz medallions all full of sweet babies--perfect cherubs of loveliness.

In some things the picture mebby could have been bettered a little--mebby the ladder wuzn't quite stiddy enough--mebby I should ruther have not clumb up it. But the colorin' of the picture is superb. So rich and gorgus that it put me in mind of our own Jonesville woods in September, when you look off into the maple forests, and your eyes would fairly be dazzled with the blaze of the colors, if they wuzn't so soft and rich, and blended into each other so perfect.

Yes, Miss Cassette done real well, and so did Mrs. MacMonnies, too.

And all round this room hung pictures that filled me with delight, and the proudest kind of pride, to think my own sect had done 'em all--had branched out into such noble and beautiful branchin's, for the statutes wuz jest as impressive as the pictures. There wuz one statute in the centre of the main corridor that I liked especially.

It wuz Maud Muller. As I looked on Maud, I thought I could say with the Judge, when he first had a idee of payin' attention to her--

"A sweeter face I ne'er have seen." And I thought, too, I could read in Maud's face a sort of a sad look, as if the shadder Pride, and Fate, held above her, wuz sort o' shadin' her now. Miss Blanche Nevins done first rate, and I'd loved to told her so.

And then there wuz a statute of Elaine that rousted up about every emotion I had by me.

There she wuz, "Elaine the fair," the lovable, the lily maid of Astolot.

I always thought a sight of her, and I've shed many a tear over her ontimely lot. I knew she thought more of Mr. Lancelot than she'd ort to, specially he bein' in love with a married woman at the same time.

Her face looked noble, and yet sweet, riz up jest as it must have been when she argued with her pa about the man she loved.

"Never yet was noble man, but made ignoble talk; He makes no friends who never made a foe."

And down under the majesty of her mean wuz the tenderness and pathos of her own little song; for, as Alfred Tennyson said, and said well, "Sweetly could she make, and sing."

"Sweet is true love, though given in vain, in vain; And sweet is Death, who puts an end to pain. I know not which is sweeter--no, not I."

There wuzn't hardly a dry eye in my head as I stood a-lookin' at Elaine.

And jest at this wropped moment I heard some voices nigh me that I recognized a-sayin' in glad and joyous axents, "How do you do, Josiah Allen's Wife?"

I turned and met seven glad extended hands, and thirteen eyes lookin' at mine, in joyous welcome, besides one glass eye (and you couldn't tell the difference, it wuz so nateral--Oren bought the best one money could git when his nigh eye wuz put out by a steer gorin' it). Yes, it wuz Oren Rumble and Lateza, his wife, and the hull of the family--the five girls, Barthena, Calfurna, Dalphina, Albiny, and Lateza.

But what a change had swep' over the family sence I had last looked on 'em!

I could hardly believe my two eyes when I looked at their costooms, for the hull family had dressed in black for upwards of 'leven years, and Jonesvillians had got jest as ust to seein' 'em as they wuz a-seein' a flock of crows in the spring.

And I do declare it wuz jest as surprisin' to me to see the way they wuz rigged out as it would be to see a lot of crows a-settlin' down on our cornfield with red and yeller tail feathers.

To home they didn't go nowhere, only to meetin'--the mother bein' very genteel, comin' down as she did from a very old and genteel family. Dretful blue blood I spoze her folks had--blue as indigo, I spoze. And she didn't think it wuz proper to go into society in mournin' clothes--she thought it would make talk for mourners to git out and enjoy themselves any in crape.

Oren wuz naterally of a lively disposition, and loved to visit round, and it made it bad for him. But he felt quite proud of marryin' such a aristocratic woman, and so he had to take the bitter with the sweet.

Besides their bein' so old, she had come from a mournin' family--her folks always mourned for everybody and everything they could. (You know some families are so, and I spoze they git some comfort out of it. And black duz look real respectable, but considerable gloomy.)

Their house wuz always shet up, and Oren walked round (rebellin' inside) under a mournin' weed.

And the six wimmen was all swathed in crape, and the hull house smelt of crape and logwood.

As I sez more formally, Lateza was brung up to it. She wuz ready to mourn on the slightest pretext, and mourn jest as long and stiddy as possible.

Wall, black wuz becomin' to her. Bein' tall and spindlin', black sot her off, and crape draperies sort o' rounded off her figger and made her look some impressive.

And she loved to stay at home--she wuz made that way.

But I always felt that if she wanted to make a raven of herself for life, she no need to dye the feathers of the hull family in logwood, and tie 'em all up clost to the nest.

Oren had chafed aginst it bitterly, but he bore the sable yoke until the youngest girl, Lateza (and mebby she inherited some of the aristocratic sotness of her mother with the name)--

Anyway, when she come home from school she come dressed in gay colors. She had on a yeller woosted dress with sky-blue trimmin's, a pink hat, a lilock veil, and a bunch of flowers in her bosom--too many colors to look well, but she did it to break her yoke.

This kinder stunted the mother, so she wuz easier to handle, bein' kinder dazed.

So they took her off to a Christian Science meetin', and got her converted the first thing.

This broke her chain, for they don't believe in mournin' as one without hope, and they believe in wanderin' round and seein' the beautiful world all you can, and takin' some comfort while you are in it.

So while the zeal of the convert wuz on her, and she didn't feel like disputin', the girls made her some red dresses, and some yeller ones, and had some white streamers put onto a white bunnet she had. And they bought themselves the most gorgeous and gay clothin' Jonesville and Loontown afforded. Oren is well off, and he wouldn't stent 'em in such a cause as this--no, indeed!

And Oren bought some bright, gay-lookin' suits, and some brilliant neckties--pale blue silk, with red polka dots on 'em, and some otter-colored ones.

He had on the day we met him a bright plaid suit and a red necktie spangled with yeller, hangin' out kinder loose in front.

And Oren bought a three-seated carriage, and they jest scoured the hull country--went to all the parties they could hear on, and the fairs, and camp-meetin's, and such. They wuz on the go the hull time; and Lateza Alzina got to likin' it as much as Oren did.

I don't spoze they wuz to home hardly enough to eat their meals whilst they wuz in Jonesville; they had a good hired girl, so they wuz free to wander all they wuz a mind to.

This summer Lateza Alzina told me that they had been up to the upper end of Canada and British America on a tower, and come home round by Lake Champlain, and Lake George, and Saratoga; they'd stayed there three weeks, and then they went home and hurried and got ready for the Fair. They come the first day it wuz opened in the mornin', and laid out to go home the last day of the Fair along in the night, so Oren said.

They all looked real happy, but some fagged out from seein' so much.

I'm dretful afraid that the pendulum, havin' swung too fur on one side, is a-goin' too fur on the other; it is nater.

But mebby they'll settle down and be more megum when the pendulum gits kinder settled down some, and its vibration ceases to be so vibratin'.

Anyway, I'm glad to see 'em a-steppin' out of their weeds, and I told 'em so.

Sez I, "You wuz in mournin' a awful while, wuzn't you?"

Oren fairly gritted his teeth, and before Lateza Alzina could speak, he busted out--

"By Vum! I've mourned all I'm a-goin' to! I've staid penned up in the house all I'm a-goin' to!

"I've quit it, by Vum! First my stepfather passed away. I never liked him--he always imposed on me; but we all went into deep mournin', staid out of society--jest shet ourselves up in a black jail for years.

"Then my mother-in-law left me--then three years more of solid black and solid stayin' to home.

"Then, at the end of the third year, we kinder quit off and begun to creep out a little and kinder lighten ourselves up a little; but then my wife's brother that she never see died way out to California and left a big property, but not a cent to us.

"But the rest of the family wanted to mourn, so my wife had to foller on and mourn too.

"And there it wuz agin, another time of gloom--another time of stayin' to home.

"Time after time, jest as we got out a little, we had to plunge back into gloom agin.

"But now we're out of it, and by Heavens and earth we're a-goin' to stay out! There hain't a-goin' to be any more mournin' done in this family--not if I know myself, there hain't."

But I sez, "Oren, don't talk so; folks have to mourn; this is a World of trials, and grief is nateral to it."

"Wall, I'll mourn in pepper and salt, and I'll mourn out-doors. I hain't a-goin' to wind myself up in crape, and shet myself up in a black hole no more, mourn or not mourn.

"And I'm a-goin' to laugh when I want to." And he jest laid his head back and bust out into a horse-laugh at nothin'.

But they didn't seem to mind it; I guess they wuz ust to it, and the girls kinder put in and laughed too. Lateza Alzina didn't laugh out loud, but she kinder snickered some.

It made me feel queer.

I see--I see the truth; the bow had been drawed too tight back, and now it wuz a-goin' to shoot too fur--way over the mark.

But still I felt that Oren had some truth on his side.

And I sez, "I always felt that you shet yourselves up too much and mourned too deep."

"Wall," sez Lateza Alzina, "my folks always brung me up to think that it would be apt to make talk if folks went out any while they wuz in black."

"Wall," sez I, "I always felt that folks had better set down and calculate which would be the most agreeable to 'em, to shet themselves up and lose their health, and die, or to let folks talk.

"And then act on them thoughts, and do as they want to with fear and tremblin'.

"And," sez I, "folks would talk whilst you wuz dyin', anyway; you can't keep folks from talkin'." Sez I, "Like as not they'd say it wuz a guilty conscience that made you droop round and stay to home so."

"Wall," sez Lateza Alzina, "I wuz brought up to think that it showed so much respect to them that wuz gone to stay to home in black."

"Wall," sez I, "if the ones that wuz gone loved you, they would want you to git all the consolation you could whilst you wuz parted. Jest as a mother lets her child have some picture-books to comfort it while she leaves it a spell.

"And if you loved them," sez I, "their memory would go out-doors with you, and go back into the house with you. You would see the beloved face lookin' down at you from every mountain you would climb, and the shadder of their form would seem to appear in the mist of every valley. Every sunset would gleam with the smilin' light of their eyes, and every sunrise would begen to you, tellin' you that one more night had gone, and you wuz so much nearer to the Eternal Reunion.

"Folks don't have to stay indoors to remember, Lateza. I have remembered folks out-doors, it seems to me, more than I ever did in the house.

"And the voice you loved would seem to be a-tellin' you, 'Keep well, beloved, so you can do some of my day's work I had to lay down, as well as your own, and the meetin' will be all the gladder and more joyous.'

"And as for puttin' on black, the dear remembered voice seems to be a-sayin' to me, 'Don't put on the symbol of sorrow for one who has found the very secret of happiness, who has left the dark shadders and has gone into the great brightness. Don't carry the idee to the world that you have lost me, for I am nearer to you than I ever could have been on earth, for the clay has only fell off from my soul, leavin' the barrier but thin indeed between us now.

"'Don't act as if you wuz mournin' for me, dear heart. Let the world see your thought, see the truth we both know, by its reflection in your face.'

"These are my idees, Lateza Alzina," sez I; "but howsumever, in this, as in every other matter that don't have any moral wickedness in it, let everybody be fully persuaded in their own mind, if they have got a mind, and do as they want to, if they know what they want to do."

Oren had looked real tickled all the while I had been speakin'. And he stood there on his bright plaid legs, and smoothed out the ends of his gorgeous necktie with his yeller gloved hand, a happy and triumphant mean onto him.

And the girls and their ma stood round him like a flock of gay-plumaged birds, or a bokay of brilliant blossoms, and seemed real happified and contented.

Wall, they wuz a-boardin' way out to the other end of the city, almost 'leven milds from there, so they had to leave middlin' early.

And they all come back in the evenin', they said. "They boarded a good ways out--they enjoyed the ride so much a-goin' and comin'."

Sometimes I'm afraid the pendulum will break down, it swings so fur, and then agin I don't know.

But anyway, they bid me a glad adoo, and the proud and gay Oren led his brood off.

And to resoom.

The English Vestibule is decorated with panels painted by the wimmen of that country. There wuz one by Mrs. Swimerton, of London, that appealed strong to my heart; it was a seen from the temporary hospital at Scutori.

Florence Nightingale stood in the foreground--good, pityin' female angel that she wuz--and all round her lay sick and dyin' soldiers, and she a-doin' all she could to help 'em.

This picture, showin' woman as a Healer and Consoler, is in the centre, as it ort to be. On one side of it is a panel called Motherhood, an Italian mother a-holdin' a baby in her arms, and on the other side is Old Age and Youth, an old female bein' tenderly took care on by the beautiful young girl who kneels before her.

On the other side of the vestibule is the paintin's of Mrs. Merritt, of London. The centre piece shows a number of likely lookin' young females a-studyin' art, and the panels on either side shows young girls and older ones all a-studyin' and workin', and doin' the best they could with what they had to do with.

Dretful upliftin' to my sect it wuz to look on them pictures, all on 'em.

Wall, if I'd spent a month I couldn't begin to tell all the contents of them rooms--the paintin's and statuary, laces, embroidery, tapestry, and etc., and etc., and everything under the sun, moon, and stars, and so forth, and so on.

All the works of wimmen from the present age of the world back to that wonderful book writ by the Abbess Herrard in the twelfth century, which contains about all the knowledge of that date.

And tapestries wrought by hands that have been dust for hundreds and hundreds of years. But the work them hands wrought still remains, giving the best descriptions of them times we have now, of the manners and customs of that fur back time.

They show off the part wimmin have took in philanthropy in all ages. They show that all through time that wimmen have been a help-meet. And you can see the tender, strong faces of them that have helped the world.

One of the most interestin' things in the hull buildin' wuz the exhibit of the Beneficent Societies formed by wimmen all over the world--what they have done in war, pestilence, and famine, what they have done in wrestlin' with that deadly serpent, whose folds encompass the earth--the foulest serpent of Intemperance. What my sect have done banded together to promote liberty, to establish religion, and all good works.

The decoration of the big room set apart for the association and organizations are strikin'.

Fifty-four organizations of Christian wimmen and workers for righteousness in different ways have their headquarters here.

The Wimmen's Christian Temperance Union makes a big display; from post to post is extended long links of pledge cards signed by boys and girls of forty-four countries--France, Africa, Japan, China, etc., etc., etc.

What links them wuz that bound them children to a future of temperance and usefulness! Strong cords a-spreadin' out to the very ends of the earth, and a-bringin' them all together and tyin' 'em up to the ramparts of Heaven.

Denmark has a display of seven little wimmen a-wearin' the white ribbon.

In the Japanese department hangs a large bell all made of pipes, and Josiah sez--

"It's curious that wimmen, who run smokin' so, should have such a lot of pipes to sell." Sez he, "I'm most a-mind to buy one, smokin' is gittin' so fashionable, and lady-like. Mebby you'd better have one, Samantha."

I looked at him witherin'ly, but he didn't seem to wither any.

But a bystander spoke up and sez, "These are the pipes of opium-smokers, who have given up the vile habit. They wuz collected in Japan and presented to that noble worker, Mary Allen West."

And the bell rung for the first time at her funeral in way-off Japan, where she laid down her sickle on her ripe sheaves, and rested from her labors.

(These last lines are my own eppisodin; he simply related the facts.)

There wuz associations on exhibition from all the different countries of the globe, of Christian workers of all kinds, in organizations, horsepitals, missionary fields, etc. from Loontown clear to Turkey.

The Turkish Compassionate Fund rousted up sights of emotions in me. When you looked at the marvellous Oriental embroideries of the Mahommeden wimmen, you didn't dispute that their work has devoloped a new art.

You see, them female Turkeys wuz drove from their homes by the Tigers, War, and Starvation, and the Baroness Burdette Coutts and Lady Layard bought the materials and organized this work. There are two thousand engaged in it now.

Madame Zarcoff, who is in charge of it now, has a medal gin her by the Sultan, with "Charity" engraved on it in the language of the Turkeys.

I couldn't read it, or Josiah. But she told us what it wuz.

Wall, as I say, there wuz displays of every other kind of Christian work, and a-lookin' over them records, and seein' the benign faces of them wimmen who had led on the fight aginst the banded powers of Hell--why, the tears jest run down my face some like rain water, and Josiah asked me anxiously, "If I wuz took with a cramp."

And I sez, "No, fur from it. I am took with the sperit of rejoicin', and wonder, and thanksgivin', and everything else."

And he sez, "Wall, I wouldn't stand up and cry; if I wuz a-goin' to cry, I would set down to it."

And agin I sez, as I had said before, "Josiah, you're not a woman."

And he sez, "No, indeed; you wouldn't catch a man a-cryin' because he wuz tickled about sunthin'; he would more likely snap his fingers, and whistle."

But I heeded not his remarks, and we wended onwards.

And I see, with everything else under the sun, moon, and stars, a collection of all the kinds of flowers in the country, clear from Maine to California; and lots of the flowers preserved in their nateral colors.

And if you think this is a easy job, I can tell you that you are very much mistaken.

Why, jest a-walkin' over to Miss Alexander Bobbet'ses, acrost lots, I have come acrost more than forty different kinds of wild flowers, and then, when I got there, I can't begin to tell how many flowers she had in her dooryard.

More than a hundred, anyway; and then if I come home by she that wuz Submit Tewksbury--why, my 'rithmetic would fairly gin out a-countin' before I got home; and then to think of all the broad acres of land, hills and valleys, mountains and forests between Oregon, and New Jersey, and Maine, and Florida, and California!

Wuz it a easy job that wimmen took on to themselves, then?

No, indeed; no, indeed!

But wimmen are ust to hard jobs, and if she begins 'em she will carry 'em out and finish 'em; as wuz proved by the cloak we see there, made of feathers, that took five years to make.

But when I go to talk about the paintin's, and statutes, and the embroideries my sect shows off in that buildin', then agin I draw deep breaths full of praise and admiration, sunthin' like sithes, only happier ones, to think mine eyes had been permitted to gaze on the marvels and wonders my own sect had wrought.

And then I thought of Isabelle, and I thought I would love to have her there to neighbor with; thinkses I, if it hadn't been for her we wouldn't have been discovered at all, as I know on, and then where would have been the Woman's Buildin'? I thought I would love to talk it over with her; how, though she furnished the means for a man to discover us, yet four hundred years had to wear away before men thought that wimmen wuz capable of takin' part in any Internatinal Exposition. I wanted Isabelle there that day--I wanted her like a dog.

But my thoughts wuz brought back from my rapt contemplation by my companion's voice. He sez:

"By Jocks! I hadn't no idee that wimmen had ever done so much work that is useful as well as ornamental." Sez he, "I had read a sight about the Lady Managers, and I had got the idee that them ladies couldn't do much more than to set down and tend poodles, and knit tattin'. I hadn't no idee that they wuz a-goin' to swing out and make such a show as this."

Them remarks of hisen wuz wrung out of him by the glory of the display, as the sweet sap is brung out of the maple trees by the all-powerful influence and glory of the spring sun, and they show more plain than song or poem of the wonders about us.

Josiah don't love to praise wimmen--he hates to. But I answered him proudly, "Yes, this Magic Wonder Land o' beauty and practical use wuz wrought by Sophia Haydon, and other noble wimmen. They must have the credit for everything about it, and for all the work it shows off within its borders."

Sez I, "Uncle Sam was a good-actin' creeter for once, anyway, when he made that act of Congress about the World's Columbian Exposition. He made that body of men appoint a board of Lady Managers--two ladies from each State and Territory, and eight lady managers at large, and nine at Chicago."

That name "Lady Manager" wuz done by Uncle Sam's over-politeness to the sect, and I don't know as Josiah wuz to blame. You would think by the name that them ladies wuz a-settin' in rows of gilded chairs, a-holdin' a rosy in their hands.

But, in fact, amongst them female managers there wuz one hard-workin' doctor and lawyer, real-estate agents, journalists, editors, merchants, two cotton planters, teachers, artists, farmers, and a cattle queen.

And you'd think to hear it talked on that there wuz only eight ladies at large amongst 'em--that the rest on 'em wuz kinder shet up and hampered. But you'd git that idee out of your head after one look in that Woman's Buildin'. You'd think that not only the hull board of Lady Managers wuz at large, but that every female woman the hull length and breadth of our country not only wuz at large, but the wimmen of the hull world. Why, connected with this great work is not only the hull caboodle of our own wimmen, fur or near--American wimmen, every one on 'em a queen, or will be when she gits her rights; besides them wimmen, the Queen of England's daughter, the Princess Christian, is at the head of the British wimmen at the Fair.

And Queen Victoria herself has sent over some things, amongst 'em them napkins of hern, spun and wove by her own hands.

What a lesson for snobbish young ladies, who would think it lowerin' to hem a napkin! What would they think to tackle 'em in the flax? And then there wuz a hat made by England's Queen, and gin to her grand-daughter; and there wuz six pictures painted by her, original sketches from nater. One view wuz from the Queen's own room at Balmoral.

And then the Princess of Wales sent a chair of carved walnut, upholstered with leather, all the work of her own hands.

What another lesson that is to our lazy, fashionable girls! And Princess Maud of Wales sent a embroidered piano stool. And Princess Louise--Miss Lorne that now is--and Princess Beatrice sent the work of their own brains and hands.

I guess queens have always made a practice of workin'.

Why, I see there--and I could have wept when I seen it if I'd had the time--an elegant bedquilt made by poor Mary Queen of Scots. She sot the last stitches in it the day before her death.

What queer stitches them must have been--Agony and Remorse a-twistin' the thread in the needle.

And then there wuz a piece of embroidery by Queen Marie Antoinette. What queer stitches them must have been, if she could have seen the End!

And then there wuz a portrait of Maria de Medici, Queen of France, made by herself.

And then there wuz a Bible presented by Queen Anne to the Moravian Church of New York, and a Bible of Princess Christian's.

The fine needlework of the wimmen of Greece makes a splendid show. The Queen of Greece is at the head of their commission.

The Queen of Italy goes ahead of all the other monarchs; she shows her own private collection of lace handkerchiefs, and neckties, and mantillys, and so forth. And even her crown laces--them beautiful laces that droop down over her regal head-dress when she sets with her crown on, and her sceptre held out in her hand.

The Queen of Belgium is at the head of their exposition. And the German commission is headed by a Princess.

Wall, you see from what I have said that there wuz a great variety of Queens a-showin' off in that buildin'; and as for Baronnesses, and Duchesses, and Ladies, etc., etc.--why, they wuz as common there as clover in a field of timothy. You felt real familiar with 'em.

The reception-room of Mrs. Palmer, the beautiful President of the Woman's Committee, is a fittin' room for the presidin' genius.

All along the walls below the ceilin' runs a design of roses, scattered and grouped with exquisite taste. Miss Agnes Pitman, of Cincinnati, decorated that room.

In Mrs. Palmer's office is a wonderful table donated by the wimmen of Pennsylvania.

In that table is cedar from Lebanon, oak from the yoke of Liberty Bell, oak from the good old ship Constitution, from Washington's headquarters at Valley Forge, and wood from other noted places.

And none of the woods wuz ever put to better use than now, to hold the records of woman's Aspirations and Success in 1893.

The ceilin' of the New York room wuz designed by Dora Keith Wheeler, and is beautiful and effective. And the room is full of objects of beauty and use.

The gorgeous President's chair from Mexico is a sight; and so to me wuz the chair in the Kentucky room, three hundred years old, that used to be sot in by old Elder Brewster, of Plymouth.

Good old creeter! if he could have been moved offen that rock of hisen three hundred years ago, into this White City, he would have fell out of that chair in a fit--I most know he would.

And then there wuz a silk flag made by General Sheridan's mother when she wuz eighty years old, and a group of dolls dressed in costooms illustrating American history.

And there wuz a shirt of old Peter Stuyvesent's and a baby dress of De Witt Clinton's.

I never mistrusted that he wuz ever a baby till I seen that dress. I'd always thought on him as the first Governor of New York.

And speakin' of babys--why, I wuz jest a-lookin' at that dress when I met Miss Job Presley, of Loontown.

And I sez, almost the first thing, "Where is your baby?"

And she sez, "It is in the Babys' Buildin'. I have got a check for her--one for her, and one for my umbrell." And she showed 'em to me.

"Wall," sez I, "that is a good, noble idee to rest mothers' tired arms; but it must make you feel queer."

And she said, as she put the checks back into her portmoney, "That it did make her feel queer as a dog."

Wall, there wuz a table from Pennsylvania, containin' more than two thousand pieces of native wood; and there wuz a Scotchwoman with her good old spinnin'-wheel, and a Welsh girl a-weavin' cloth.

And inventions of females of all kinds, from a toboggan slide, and a system of irrigation, and models of buildin's of all kinds, to a stock car.

Why, the very elevator you rode up to the ruff garden on wuz made by a woman.

And then there wuz cotton raised and ginned by wimmen of the South, and nets by the wimmen of New Jersey, and fruit raised by the wimmen of California--the most beautiful fruit I ever sot my eyes on, and wine made by her, too.

(I could have wept when I see that, but presoom it wuz for sickness.)

And from Colorado there wuz tracin's of minin' surveys. Wimmen a-findin' out things hid in the bowels of the earth! O good land! the idee on't!

And engravin's and etchin's done by wimmen way back to 1581.

And in stamped leather, wall decoration, furniture, it wuz a sight to see the noble doin's of my sect; and a exhibit that done my soul good wuz from Belva Lockwood, admittin' wimmen to practise in the Supreme Court. That wuz better than leather work, though that is worthy, and wuz more elevatin' to my sect than the elevator.

The British exhibit is arranged splendidly to show off wimmen's noble work in charity, education, manafacture, art, literature, etc., and amongst their patents is one for a fire-escape, and one to extract gold from base metals. Both of these are good idees, as there can't anybody dispute.

Another exhibit there that appeals strong to the feelin' heart wuz Kate Marsdon's Siberian leper village.

She is a nurse of the Red Cross, and her heart ached with pity for them wretched lepers, in their dretful lonely huts in the forests of Siberia.

She went herself to see their awful condition, and tried to help 'em; she raised money herself for horsepitals and nurses.

Here is a model of the village, with church, horsepital, schoolhouse, store, and cottages for them that are able to work.

Here is the saddle she wore durin' her long, dretful journey to Siberia, and the knife she carried, and some of the miserable, hard black bread she had to eat.

Here are letters to her from Queen Victoria, and the Empress of Russia.

But a Higher Power writ to her, writ on her heart, and went with her acrost the dark fields of snow and ice.

Wall, after lookin' at everything under the sun, from a Lion's Head, by Rosa Bonhuer, to a piece of bead-work by a Injun, and every queer and beautiful Japan thing you ever thought on, or ever didn't think on, and everything else under the sun, moon, and stars, that wuz ever made by a woman--and there is no end to 'em--we went up into the ruff garden, where, amidst flowers, and fountains, and fresh air, happy children wuz a-playin', with birds and butterflies a-flyin' about 'em over their heads.

The birds couldn't git out, nor the children either, for up fifteen feet high a wire screen wuz stretched along, coverin' the hull beautiful garden. Nothin' could git in or out of it but the sweet air and the sunshine.

Oh, what a good idee! You could see that the Woman's Buildin' wuz full of beautiful, practical idees, from the ground floor to the very top; as you could see plain by this that the children wuz thought on and cared for, from the bottom to the top of this palace. Some say that wimmen soarin' out in art and business makes 'em hard and ontender; you can see that this is a plain falsehood jest by walkin' once through the Woman's Buildin'.

If ever wimmen soared out in art and business, and genius, and philanthropy, and education, and religion, she does here; and from the floor to the ruff is the highest signs of her tenderness for the children, and all weak and helpless ones.

Oh, what emotions I had in that buildin', and of what a immense size! Some of the time I got lost and by the side of myself, a-thinkin' such deep and high thoughts about the World's Fair, and wimmen, etc., and they wuz so fur-reachin', too; it wuz a sight.

For I knew on that openin' day, when the hammer struck that marvellous golden nail, and this world of treasures opened at the signal--I knew that the echo of that blow wuzn't a-goin' to die out on Lake Michigan. I knew that at its echo old Prejudice, and Custom, and Might wuz a-goin' to skulk back and hide their hoary heads; and Young Progress, and Equality, and Right wuz a-goin' to advance and take their places.

Stiflin', encumberin' veils wuz a-goin' to fall from the sad eyes of the wimmen of the East. Chains wuz a-goin' to fall from the delicate wrists of the wimmen of the West.

I hailed that sound as helpin' forward the era of Love, Peace, goodwill to men and wimmen.

Yes, it wuz a happy hour for her who was once Smith, when man, in the shape of President Cleveland, pressed the button with his thumb. And woman, in the form of Bertha Honore Palmer, drove that nail home with a hammer.

Josiah thought it ort to been the other way. He sez, "That men wuz so used to hammer and nails;" and he sez, and stuck to it, that, "No woman livin' ever druv a nail home without splittin' her own nail in the effort, and bendin' the nail she driv sideways."

But I sot him down in my mind as representin' Old Prejudice, and I did not dain a reply to him. Only I merely said--

"Wall, she did drive the nail in straight, and she clinched it solid with the golden words of her address."

Yes, Mrs. Palmer has stood up on a high mount durin' the hard years past since the Fair wuz thought on.

She has stood up so high that she could see things hid from them on the ground.

She could see over the hull world, and could see that, like little children of one family, the nations wuz all havin' their own separate work to do to help their Pa's and Ma's--their Pa Progress, and Grandpa Civilization, and their Ma and Grandma Love and Humanity.

She could see that some of the children wuz dark complexioned, and some lighter, and some kinder yeller favored, and some wuz big, and some wuz small.

They differed in looks and behavior, as every big family will, and she could see that they had their little squabbles together, a-quarrelin' among themselves over their possessions, their toys and their rights--they wuz jealous of each other, and greedy, as children will be; and they had their perplexities, and their deep troubles, and their vexations, as children must have in this world, and some wuz fractious, and some wuz balky, and some wuz good dispositioned, and some wuz cross and mean, and had to be spanked more or less.

But she could see from her sightly place that the hull of the children wuz a-movin' on, some slower and some faster, movin' on, and a-gittin' into line, and a-fallin' into step, to the music of the future.

She could see, and she has seen from the first minute she wuz lifted up and looked off over the world, that this gatherin' of all the children together, a-showin' the best they had done, or could do, wuz a-goin' to help the hull family along more than tongue could tell, or mind could conceive of.

She could see that it wuz encouragin' the good children to do still better. Allowin' the smart ones to show off their smartness to the best advantage. Awakenin' a spirit of helpful emulation in the more backward and sluggish of 'em.

Yes, the light from this big house-warmin' she knew would penetrate and glow into the darkest corners of the earth, and, like a great warm sun, bring forth a glowin' and never-endin' harvest of blessed results.

The hull family wuz a-doin' first rate, and their Pa and Ma wuz proud enough of 'em.

And they felt well, for they knew that they wuz advancin' rapid, and with quick steps and with happy hearts.

And when she looked way back, and watched the long procession a-defilin' along, some a-walkin' swift and some a-laggin' back with slower, more burdened footsteps (chains of different kinds a-draggin' on 'em)--

When she see the dark shadders of the past behind 'em--the dretful shapes of ignorance and evil a-lurkin' in the heavy blackness from which they wuz emergin'--her tender heart ached with sympathy.

But when she looked fur off, fur off, ahead on 'em the gole that they wuz a-settin' out for, she had to almost lift her hands and hide her eyes from the dazzlin' glory.

It most blinded her, so bright it wuz, and so golden the rays streamed out.

Equal rights, Freedom for all, Love, Peace, Joy. I spoze she see a sight.

Her face shone!

But to resoom: Josiah wuz dretful interested in the Agricultural display of the ladies of Iowa, and it wuz interestin' to look at.

On one end is panels of pansies all made out of kernels of corn, so nateral that you almost wanted to pick 'em off and make a posey of 'em.

On one of the other walls is a row of wimmen's heads done in corn; the hair is done in corn silks, and their clothes out of the husks.

And then there is a border made of corn, illustratin' the story of corn in Greek Mythology.

There is a picture called the Water Carrier--a woman made of different kinds of corn, jest as nateral as life, and the landscape round her made of grasses, and trees of sorghum, and the frame is made of ears of corn.

Josiah wuz crazy to have one to home. Sez he, "Samanthy, I am bound to have your picture took in corn, it is so cheap." Sez he, "Ury and I could do it some rainy day, and how you would treasure it!" sez he.

Sez he, "I could make your hair out of white silk grass, and your face out of red pop-corn mostly." Sez he, "Of course, to make you life size it would take a big crop of corn. I should judge," sez he, "that it would take about two bushels to make your waist ribbon; but I wouldn't begretch it."

Sez I, "If you want to make me happy in corn, Josiah Allen, take it to the mill and grind it into samp or good fine meal. You and Ury can't bring happiness to me by paintin' me in corn, so dismiss the thought to once, for I will not be took."

"Yes, break it up," sez he bitterly; "you always do, if I branch out into anything uneek."

It wuz some time before I could quiet him down.

The display by Norway and Sweden is very complete, showin' the work of the lower and upper classes, laces, and embroideries, etc., etc.

And so they wuz from every other nation of the Globe. It fairly makes my brain reel now, to think of the wonder and the glory of 'em.

Wall, towards the last we went to see the model kitchen. And Miss Plank, who had been off with some friends, jined us here, and she wuz happy here, as happy as a queen on her throne; and Josiah, and I thought he richly deserved it, in the restaurant attached, he eat such a lunch as only a hungry man can eat, cooked jest as good as vittles can be, and all done by wimmen. Why, Miss Rorer herself, that I have kep (in book form) on my buttery shelf for years, wuz here in the body, a-learnin' folks to cook. That is sayin' enough for the vittles to them that knows her (in book form).

There wuz every appliance and new-fangled invention to help wimmen cook, and do her work, and every old-fangled one. Miss Plank hunted hard to find sunthin' to make better pancakes than hern, but couldn't.

But it wuz a sight--a sight, the things we see there.

Wall, we spent the hull of the day here--never stepped our feet outside, and didn't want to, or at least I didn't.

And as Night softly onrolled her mantilly, previous to drawin' it over her face and goin' to sleep, we reluctantly turned our feet away from this beautiful, sacred place, and went home on the cars. And didn't the bed feel good? And didn't Sleep come like a sweet, consolin' friend and lay her hand on my gray hair and weary fore-top jest as lovin' as Mother Smith ust to, and murmur in my ear, jest as soft and low as Ma Smith did, "Hush, my dear; lie still and slumber."

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