Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife 21 – Holley · Verses Across
Literature · Humor
Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife 21Chapter 21
18
Literature · Humor
Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife 21
Chapter 21
HolleyEnglish
As we approached Calcutta we seemed to be travellin' through big gardens more beautiful than our own country can boast of; rich, strange, tropical trees and shrubs and flowers grew luxuriant around the pleasant villas. The English district with its white two-story houses made me think some of an American village. We went to the Great Eastern Hotel, right opposite the gardens of the Viceroy's palace.
We had pleasant rooms that would have been pretty hot, but great fans are swung up in our room and the hired help swing 'em by a rope that goes out into the hall. It beats all how much help there is here, the halls seemed full on 'em, but what would our hired help say if we made 'em dress like these Hindus? They wear short pantaloons that don't come down to their knees and then they wind a long strip of white cloth round their thighs and fasten it round their waist, leavin' their right shoulder and arm bare naked. An American family of four livin' in Calcutta have thirty servants, ten of 'em pullin' at these punkeys or fans. They don't eat in the house of their employer; but in a cabin outside.
There is a long, beautiful street called The Strand, shaded by banyan and palm trees; on one side on't is the park so lovely that it is called the Garden of Eden, full of beautiful trees, shrubs and flowers, pagodas, little temples and shrines. Josiah and I and Tommy went there in the evenin' and hearn beautiful music. Josiah wanted to ride in a palanquin. It is a long black box and looks some like a hearse. I hated to see him get in, it made me forebode. But he enjoyed his ride, and afterwards I sot off in one, Josiah in one also nigh by with Tommy. One side of it comes off so you can git in and set on a high cushion and read or knit. I took my knittin' and most knit one of Josiah's heels whilst I rid by palaces and elephants and camels and fakirs and palm trees. Oh, Jonesville yarn! you never expected to be knit amid seens like this. I can knit and admire scenery first rate, and my blue and white yarn seemed to connect me with Jonesville in some occult way, and then I knew Josiah would need his socks before we got home.
Seein' that the other ladies did so I had throwed my braize veil gracefully over my head instead of my bunnet. The natives are as fond of jewels here as they are in Ceylon. Women with not a rag on down to their waists will have four or five chains on, and bangles on their naked arms. They spend all their earnin's on these ornaments and wear 'em day and night. Well, seein' they don't have any other clothes hardly, mebby it is best for 'em to keep holt on 'em.
We went by some wimmen preparin' manure for fuel; it wuz made into lumps and dried. The wimmen wuz workin' away all covered with chains and bangles and rings; Josiah looked on 'em engaged in that menial and onwelcome occupation, and sez he:
"To see wimmen to work in the barnyard, Samantha, has put a new idee into my head."
I never asked him what it wuz, but spozed it had reference to Philury and mebby me, but I shall never go into that work, never.
One day we went to the American mission school and see the native children settin' flat on the floor. Josiah wuz awful worked up to see 'em settin' down in such a oncomfortable posture, and he said to me that if he had some tools and lumber he would make 'em some seats. But that is their way of settin' to study their lessons.
Among 'em wuz a little girl with a red spot on her forward, indicatin' that she wuz married, but don't spoze that she had gone to keepin' house yet. Girls are married sometimes at six or seven, but their husbands don't claim 'em till they're ten or twelve. Good land! they're nothin' but babies then; I used to hold Tirzah Ann on my lap at that age. Widders never marry again, and are doomed to a wretched life of degradation and slavery; I guess that is the reason why some on 'em had ruther be burnt up with their relics than to live on to suffer so. How much they need the religion of love and mercy our Saviour come to teach! Our missionaries are doin' a blessed work, literally loosin' the chains of the captives, and settin' at liberty them that are bound.
One evenin' we met a bridal procession, the groom was ridin' in a peacock-shaped gilt chariot drawed by four horses, accompanied by a band of music; a big crowd of friends follered him, and coolies bearing torches; it seemed as if he wanted to show himself off all he could. When they got to the house of the bride, they took her in a closed palanquin and meached away to the house of the groom. As in some other countries, females play a minor part in the tune of life; wimmen and children can't eat at the table with their husband and father, and he sets to the table and she sets down on the floor.
Miss Meechim exclaimed loudly about the awful position of wimmen here, but Arvilly told her that "though wimmen at home had crep' up a little so she could set to the table and pour the tea, yet at banquets of honor she wuz never seen and at the political table, where men proudly sot and partook, wimmen still sot on the floor and couldn't git a bite."
Miss Meechim didn't dain a reply, but turned her talk onto the dretful idee of widders bein' burnt with their dead husbands. The English won't allow it where they can help it, but it is still practised in way back regions, and Arvilly said that she believed that some American widders, who had had their property took from them by the family of the deceased and had their unborn children willed away from 'em by law, suffered enough sight more than they would if they had burnt themselves up with their relics; to say nothin' of widders bein' burnt up twice in America, first through their own fiery agony, and then seein' their children sot fire to by whiskey dealt to 'em by the will of the rulers of the land.
Arvilly always would have the last word. Miss Meechim kinder snorted and tosted her head and held in.
I spoze it wuz partly on Robert Strong's account, he bein' high connected and rich, that we wuz all invited to a garden party gin by Mr. and Miss Curzon, she that wuz Miss Leiter, who used to be one of our neighbors, as you may say, out in Chicago, U.S. And then I spoze that it wuz partly on my account, they'd hearn of me, without any doubt, and craved a augience. Josiah thought that it wuz on his account that we wuz invited; he thinks he is a ornament to any festive throng.
But 'tennyrate invited we wuz, and go we did, the hull caboodle on us, all but Tommy, who stayed to home with the good English maid that Miss Meechim had hired to take Aronette's place, but never, never to fill it.
Oh, Aronette! sweet girl! where are you? Where are you? So my heart called out time and time agin; sometimes in the dead of night on my wakeful pillow, and anon when I wuz lookin' for her in places that I didn't want to find her. So did Dorothy's heart call out to her. I knew she wuz lookin' for her always, seekin' her with sad eyes full of tears, looking, longing for the playmate of her childhood, the loving, gentle helper and companion of her youth.
Miss Meechim didn't speak of her so often as she thought of her, I believe; but she grew thin after her loss, and when grief for a person ploughs away your flesh you can call yourself a mourner. She lost five pounds and a half in less than a month; next to Dorothy she loved her.
Arvilly openly and often bewailed the loss of the one she loved next to Waitstill Webb; I wuzn't anywhere in Arvilly's affections to what she wuz, though she sets store by me, and Tommy cried himself to sleep many a night talking about her, and wonnerin' where she wuz, and if somebody wuz abusin' her, or if she wuz to the bottom of the ocean. Why, he would rack my mind and pierce my heart so I would have to give him candy to get his mind off; I used pounds in that way, though I knew it wuz hurtful, but didn't know what to do.
We often thought and spoke of poor Lucia, too, and that poor broken-hearted father who wuz searching through the world for her and would never stop his mournful search till he found her, or till death found him, but our hearts didn't ache for her as they did for the loss of our own.
Martha wuz a kind, good girl, but she wuzn't Aronette, our dear one, our lost one. She wuz jest a helper doin' her work and earnin' her wages, that wuz all, but she was good natured and offered to look after Tommy, and we all went to the Viceroy's reception and garden party and had a real good time.
The palace of the Viceroy is a beautiful structure. It is only two stories high, but each story full and running over with beauty. I d'no but the widder Albert's house goes ahead of this, but it don't seem as if it could, it don't seem as if Solomon's or the Queen of Sheba's could look any better. Though of course I never neighbored with Miss Sheba, bein' considerable younger than she, and never got round to visit the widder Albert, though I always wanted to, and spoze I disappointed her that year when I wuz in London, and kep' by business and P. Martin Smythe from visitin' her.
Miss Curzon is a real handsome woman, and always wuz when she was a neighborin' girl, as you may say, in Chicago, but the high position she's in now has gin nobility to her mean, and the mantilly of dignity she wears sets well on her.
She seemed real glad to see me; she had hearn on me, so she said, and she said she had laughed some when she read my books, and had cried too, and I sez, "I hope you didn't cry because you felt obleeged to read 'em, or somebody made you."
And she sez, "No," and she went on furder to say how they had soothed the trials of a relative, aged ninety, and had been a stay and solace to one of her pa's great aunts.
And a bystander standin' by come up and introduced himself and said how much my books had done for some relations of his mother-in-law who had read 'em in Sing Sing and the Tombs. And after considerable such interestin' and agreeable conversation Miss Curzon branched off and asked me if there wuz any new news at home.
And I sez, "No; things are goin' in the same old way. Your pa's folks are in good health so fur as I know, and the rest of the four hundred are so as to git about, for I hear on 'em to horse shows and huntin' foxes acrost the country and playin' tee or tee he."
She said, "Yes, golf wuz gettin' to be very popular in America." And I went on with what little news I could about the most important folks. Sez I:
"Mr. and Miss Roosvelt are well, and well thought on. He is a manly man and a gentle gentleman. The sample of goodness, loyalty and common sense they are workin' out there in the White House ort to be copied by all married men and their wives. If they did the divorce lawyers would starve to death--or go into some other business.
"I set store by 'em both. Theodore tries to quell the big monopolies and look out for the people. I've advised him and he has follered my advice more or less. But you can't do everything in a minute, and the political bosses and the Liquor Power are rulin' things about the same as ever. Big trusts are flourishin', Capital covered with gold and diamonds is settin' on the bent back of Labor, drivin' the poor critter where they want to, and the Man with the Hoe is hoein' away jest as usual and don't get the pay for it he'd ort to." And here Arvilly broke in (she had been introduced), and sez she, "Uncle Sam is girdin' up his lions and stands with a chip on his shoulder ready to step up and take a round with any little republic that don't want to be benevolently assimilated."
But I spoke right up, and sez, "He is a good-hearted creeter, Uncle Sam is, but needs a adviser time and agin, and not bein' willin' to let wimmen have a word to say, I d'no what will become on him; bime-by mebby he'll see that he had better hearn to me."
Jest then we hearn a bystander standin' nigh by us talkin' about the last news from Russia, and I sez to Miss Curzon, "It is too bad about the war, hain't it?" And she sez, "Yes indeed!" She felt dretful about it, I could see, and I sez, "So do I. You and I can't stop it, Miss Curzon; a few ambitious or quarrelsome or greedy politicians will make a war and then wimmen have to stand it. There hain't nothin' right in it, seein' they are half of the world, and men couldn't have got into the world at all if it hadn't been for wimmen, and then when wimmen has got 'em here, and took care on 'em till they can run alone, then they go to bossin' her round the first thing and makin' her no end of trouble, makin' wars and things." And she said she felt jest so, too. "But," sez I, "excuse me for introducin' personal and political matters on festive boards" (we wuz standin' on a kind of a platform built up on the green and velvety grass). Sez I, "I am real glad to see you lookin' so well, and your companion, too." She did look handsome as a picter, and handsomer enough sight than some, chromos and such. And seein' that she had so many to talk to, I withdrawed myself, but as I kinder backed myself off I backed right into Arvilly, who wuz takin' out the "Twin Crimes" out of her work-bag, and I sez, "Arvilly, you shall not canvass Miss Curzon to-night."
And she sez, "I'd like to see you stop me, Josiah Allen's wife, if I set out to do anything." She looked real beligerent. But I got her into a corner and appealed to her shiverly and pity, and finally I got her to put her book up in her work-bag. Arvilly is good-hearted if you know how to manage her. I knew Miss Curzon would be tired enough to drop down before we all got away, without being canvassed, if she has got two hundred hired help in the house.
Well, we roamed along through the beautiful walks, sweet with perfume and balmy with flowers, brilliant with innumerable lights, and thronged with a gaily dressed crowd and the air throbbing with entrancing strains of music.
Robert Strong looked noble and handsome that night; I wuz proud to think he belonged to our party. He didn't need uniforms and ribbons and stars and orders to proclaim his nobility, no more than his City of Justice needed steeples. It shone out of his liniment so everybody could see it. It seemed that he and Mr. Curzon wuz old friends; they talked together like brothers.
Dorothy wuz as sweet as a posy in her pretty pink frock, trimmed with white rosies, and her big, white picture hat--the prettiest girl there, I thought; and I believe Robert thought so, too--he acted as if he did. And Miss Meechim wuz in her element. The halls of the noble and gay wuz where her feet loved to linger. And she seemed to look up to me more than ever after she see my long interview with Lady Curzon, as she called her.
Josiah and I returned to our tarven, but the rest of the party wanted to stay some later. We wanted dretfully to go to Benares, and on to Agra so's to see that wonderful monument to Wedded Love--the Taj Mahal--I spoze the most beautiful building in the hull world; and certainly it is rared up to as noble a sentiment; and its being a kind of rareity, too, made me want to see it the worst kind.
But we had loitered so on our travels that we had to hurry up a little in order to arrive at the Paris Exposition the Fourth of July--United States day. I felt that I couldn't bear to git there any later and keep France a-waitin' for us, a-worryin' for fear we wouldn't git there at all, so we went post-haste from Calcutta to Bombay and from there to Cairo and on to Marseilles; though we laid out to stop long enough in Cairo to take a tower in Jerusalem. Holy Land, wuz I, indeed, to see thee?
We wuz considerable tired when we got to Bombay. The railroads in Injy are not like the Empire Express; though, as we drew near Bombay, the scenery wuz grand; some like our own Sierra Nevada's.
Only a few milds back from the railroad, tigers, panthers and all sorts of fierce animals wuz to home to callers, but we didn't try to visit 'em. At some places the trees along the road wuz full of monkeys, chatterin' and talkin' in their own language which they understood, so I spoze; and there wuz the most beautiful birds I ever saw. The climate wuz delightful, some like June days in dear Jonesville.
Bombay is on an island, with many bridges connecting it to the mainland. We went to a tarven close to Bombay Bay; the wide verandas full of flowers and singin' birds made it pleasant. We got good things to eat here; oh, how Josiah enjoyed the good roast beef and eggs and bread, most as good as Jonesville bread. Though it seemed kinder queer to me, and I don't think Miss Meechim and Arvilly enjoyed it at all to have our chamber work done by barelegged men.
I told Josiah that I didn't know but I ort to have a Ayah or maid whilst I wuz there, and he said with considerable justice that he guessed he could ayah me all that wuz necessary.
And so he could, I didn't need no other chaperone. But the Bombay ladies never stir out without their Ayah, and ladies don't go out in the streets much anyway.
The market here in Bombay wuz the finest I ever see; it has a beautiful flower garden and park attached to it, and little rills of clear water run through the stun gutters. Tropical fruit and vegetables of all kinds wuz to be seen here. The native market wimmen didn't have on any clothes hardly, but made it up in jewelry. Some on 'em weighin' out beef to customers would have five or six long gold chains hanging down to their waist. Bombay has a population of about a million, a good many English, some Hindus, Persians, Chinese, Siamese, Turks, and about one-tenth are Parsees, sun-worshippers. They are many of them wealthy and live in beautiful villas a little out of the city; they are very intelligent and firm friends of the English.
The Parsees dress in very rich silks and satin, the men in pantaloons of red or orange and long frocks of gorgeous colored silk; they wear high-pinted black caps, gold chains and rings and look dretful dressy.
Josiah loved their looks dearly, and he sez dreamily, "What a show such a costoom would make in Jonesville; no circus ever went through there that would attract so much attention," and he added, "their idees about the sun hain't so fur out of the way. The sun duz give all the heat and light we have, and it is better to worship that than snakes and bulls."
My land! had that man a idee of becomin' a Parsee? I sez, "Josiah Allen, be you a Methodist deacon, or be you not? Are you a-backslidin' or hain't you?" Sez I, "You had better ask the help of him who made the sun and the earth to keep you from wobblin'."
He wuz real huffy and sez, "Well, I say it, and stick to it, that it is better to worship the sun than it is to worship snakes," and come to think it over, I didn't know but it wuz.
The Parsees live together in big families of relations, sometimes fifty.
They do not bury their dead, but put 'em up in high towers, called Towers of Silence. And I believe my soul that I'd ruther be put up in the sky than down in the mouldy earth.
Jest a little way from this Tower of Silence is the spot where the Brahmans burn their dead; there are so many that the fires are kep' burnin' all the time. And a little ways off is the place where the English bury their dead.
And I d'no but one way is as good as another. The pale shadder of the real tower of silence has fell on 'em all and silenced 'em. It don't make much difference what becomes of the husk that is wropped round the wheat. The freed soul soarin' off to its own place wouldn't care what become of the wornout garment it dropped in its flight.
But to resoom: We all went out for a drive through the streets; Josiah and I and Arvilly and little Tommy in a little two-wheeled cart settin' facin' each other drawed by two buffalo cows. Robert and Dorothy and Miss Meechim occupied another jest ahead on us. The driver sot on the tongue of the wagon, and would pull their tails instead of whippin' 'em when he wanted 'em to go faster. The cows' ears wuz all trimmed off with bells and gay streamers of cotton cloth, and their tails had big red bows on 'em, and Josiah whispered to me:
"You see, Samantha, if I don't get some ear and tail trimmin' for old Brindle and Lineback when I git home; our cows are goin' to have some advantage of our tower if they couldn't travel with us. And," sez he, "what a show we could make, Samantha, ridin' in to meetin' behind 'em; bells a-jinglin' and ribbins a-flyin', I dressed in a long silk frock and you all covered with jewelry."
"Well," sez I (wantin' to break up the idee to once), "if we do that, I must be buyin' some jewelry right away."
"Oh, Samantha," sez he anxiously, "can't you take a joke? I wouldn't drive anything but the old mair for love or money. And your cameo pin is so beautiful and so becoming to you."
We went by a good many Parsees in that drive, and Arvilly sez, "They look so rich somehow, I believe I shall try to canvass some on 'em." And that afternoon about sundown she seein' one on 'em goin' into a little garden she follered him in; he wuz dressed in such a gorgeous way that she wuz almost sure of a customer, but jest as she wuz gettin' the "Twin Crimes" out of her work-bag, he took off his outer frock, lain it down on the ground and knelt down, facin' the sunset, and sprinkled his head, breast and hands three times from a little dish he had with him, and then begun to pray and kep' up his devotions for half an hour, and Arvilly of course not wantin' to break up a meetin' put her book into her work-bag and went away. I kinder like the idee of their worshippin' under the blue dome of heaven, though of course I didn't like their idee of worshippin' the created instead of the Creator. In travellin' through these countries more and more every day did I feel to thank the Lord that I wuz a member of the M. E. meetin' house in Jonesville, U. S., a humble follower of him who went about doing good, but I didn't feel like goin' on as Miss Meechim did. How she did look down on the Parsees and compared 'em to the Piscopals to their immense disadvantage.
But Arvilly, the iconoclast, sez, "These Parsees boast that there is not a pauper or woman of bad character in the hull of their sect, and I wonder if any other religious sect in America could say as much as that, Miss Meechim?"
Miss Meechim turned her head away and sniffed some; she hates to enter into a argument with Arvilly, but she wuz gittin' real worked up and I don't know how it would have ended, but I spoke right up and quoted some Bible to 'em, thinkin' mebby that it might avert a storm.
Sez I, "Charity vaunteth not itself. Charity thinketh no evil, suffereth long and is kind."
I meant both on 'em to take it, and I meant to take some on't myself. I knowed that I wuz sometimes a little hash with my beloved pardner. But a woman, if she don't want to be run over has to work every way to keep a man's naterel overbeariness quelled down. I worship him and he knows it, and if I didn't use headwork he would take advantage of that worship and tromple on me.
But though Arvilly didn't canvass the Parsee, she sold several copies of the "Twin Crimes" to English residents who seemed to hail the idee of meeting a Yankee book-agent in the Orient with gladness.
