The History and Records of the Elephant Club 14 – Doesticks · Verses Across
Literature · Humor
The History and Records of the Elephant Club 14Duty
18
Literature · Humor
The History and Records of the Elephant Club 14
Duty
DoesticksEnglish
It shall be to sit in a big chair, at the end of the table, and to see that the members conform to the following
RULES OF CONDUCT:
1. In the meetings of the club, every member shall do exactly as he pleases.
2. Each member shall speak when he pleases, what he pleases, and as long as he pleases.
N.B.--If the remarks of any member are particularly stupid or tedious, the other members are under no obligations to remain and hear them.
N. particular B. Should the speaker, at the conclusion of his remarks, find himself in the presence of only a part of his original audience, and some of those asleep; he is at full liberty, for his private satisfaction, to conclude that his eloquence, like that of the traditional parsons, is not only moving and soothing, as evidenced by the absence of some and the somnolence of others, but so satisfactory that those who were awake will never care to hear him again.
3. No member shall be permitted to bring spirituous or fermented liquors, wine, beer, or cider, whether imported or domestic, into any of the meetings of the club, under the penalty of passing them around for general use; unless the member prefers to keep them to himself, from motives of economy--the economy in such case to be regarded as an offence, to be punished with a severe letting alone.
4. The third rule shall apply to cigars, cheroots, and cigaretts.
5. Ditto--ditto--sardines, Bologna sausages, crackers and cheese.
6. Members are prohibited from sitting with their feet on the table, unless in that position they sit with more comfort, or they have other reasons satisfactory to themselves.
N.B.--The Higholdboy, in consideration of his onerous duties, is exempted from the action of this rule.
7. The Higholdboy is empowered to reprimand any member, when he considers it necessary to preserve the dignity of the club.
N. special and particular B. In order that this rule shall not operate prejudicially to the sovereign rights of individuals, the members of the club are at liberty to treat the reprimand of the Higholdboy as a good joke.
8. Any member who shall be absent from any meeting of the club, shall be liable to stand a half-dozen on the half shell for each of his fellow-members, unless he gives no previous notice to the club, or any member thereof, of his prospective absence. Such notice, which he fails to give, to be either verbal or written, at his own option.
9. These foregoing rules shall in all cases be construed strictly, they shall never be repealed or amended; and shall be of binding force, except as hereinafter provided in the
