A Journey to the World Under-Ground 11 – Holberg · Verses Across
Literature · Science Fiction & Fantasy
A Journey to the World Under-Ground 11Chap 11
18
Literature · Science Fiction & Fantasy
A Journey to the World Under-Ground 11
Chap 11
HolbergEnglish
The Author’s Voyage to the +Land+ of
WONDERS.
Before I proceed to the Description of this Voyage, I must caution the rigid and censorious Critick not to be too much out of Humour at the Relation of some Things which perhaps may appear not to deserve any Credit, as being contrary to the usual Course of Nature. I shall here recount Things very incredible, but very true, and of which I myself was an Eye-Witness. The Vulgar and Illiterate, who never have set a Foot beyond the Limits of their own native Country, are apt to look upon all such Things as fabulous to which they have not been accustom’d from their Infancy. But the Learned, and especially such of them as are conversant in physical Enquiries, who know how fertile Nature is in her Productions, will look with a more favourable Eye upon the wonderful Parts of this Narration.
_Quis tumidum guttur miratur in Alpibus? aut quis
In Meröe crasso majorem infante mamillam_, &c.
It is now well known, that there were a People formerly in Scythia, called Arimaspians, who had only a single Eye apiece in the Middle of their Foreheads; and others in the same Parts of the World, whose Feet were set on the contrary Way to ours. We read of People in Albania, who were grey-headed from their Childhood. The Sauromatians us’d to make a Meal but once in three Days, and to fast the intermediate ones. Mention is made of certain Families in Africa, who had the Art of fascinating or bewitching People with the Sound of their Voices. The Inhabitants of Illyrium were remarkable for having two Pupils in each Eye, and us’d, when they were provok’d, to stare their Enemies to Death. In the Mountains of India, there are some Men with Dogs Heads, and who have been heard to bark like those Animals; others, with Eyes in their Shoulders. And in the farthest Parts of the same Country, there have been found Animals resembling Men, with hairy Bodies, and Wings like Birds, who never eat, but live upon the Scent of Flowers, which they draw through their Nostrils. Now I may ask, Who would have given Credit to these, and the like Things, if Pliny, a very grave Historian, had not solemnly affirm’d, not that he had heard or read of such Things, but that he himself had seen them? In like Manner, who would ever have thought that the Earth was hollow, and that another Sun, and other Planets, were contain’d within its Bowels, had not my own Experience clear’d up that Mystery? Or how could an Account of a World, inhabited by Trees endued with Reason, and a Power of local Motion, have ever gain’d Belief, had not my Discoveries prov’d the Existence of it beyond a Possibility of Doubt. I am not inclin’d, however, to quarrel with any Man for his Incredulity, since I must confess, that before I undertook this Voyage, I was a little in doubt myself, whether the Relations of Travellers in general were any Thing better than pompous Fables, and insignificant Amusements.
It was in the Beginning of the Month Radir that we set Sail. We had a fair Wind for some Days, and our Vessel sailing right before it, we had no Occasion to handle our Oars, and were therefore at Liberty to divert ourselves. But on the fourth Day the Wind sunk, and we were forc’d to take to our Oars. The Captain perceiving I was unaccustom’d to such hard Labour, and unfit to bear it, would often give me Leave to rest a while, and at length he entirely freed me from this servile Office. Whether he thought me innocent, and therefore shew’d me so much Kindness, or whether he judg’d me worthy of better Treatment on Account of the curious Invention of Perriwigs, which I had the Honour of, as I have before related, I cannot take upon me to determine. I must however observe, that he carry’d three Wigs along with him this Voyage, the Combing and Buckling of which was committed to my Charge. So that I was on a sudden advanc’d from being a Galley-Slave, to the Dignity of the Captain’s Wig-Dresser. This Civility of the Captain’s to me was the Reason that as often as we arriv’d at any Port, I was always one of the Number who were appointed to go on Shore. This was extremely agreeable to me, as it gave me an Opportunity of fully satisfying my Curiosity.
We kept on our Course for some Time without meeting with any Thing remarkable; but after we had lost Sight of Land we fell among the Syrens, who as often as the Wind abated, and the Sea grew calm, would swim to the Ship, and beg our Charity. The Language they spoke resembled the Martinese, so that some of our Ship’s Crew were able to talk with them without the Help of an Interpreter. One of the Number, after I had given her a Piece of Meat, fixing her Eyes stedfastly upon me, cry’d out,
Hero! proceed, and rule a conquer’d World!
I only smil’d at the Prophecy, as thinking it an empty Piece of Flattery, though our Sailors assur’d me very seriously, that these Syrens were seldom or never out in their Predictions. We had been under Sail about eight Days when we discovered Land, which the Mariners call’d Picardania. As we were entring the Harbour, we saw a Jack-Daw hovering about us, who upon Enquiry I found to be a Person of great Dignity, and at that Time Inspector-General of the Customs. I could scarce refrain from laughing, when I heard that an Office of so great Trust was committed to a Jack-Daw, and from the Appearance of their Chief, I conjectur’d, that Wasps and Hornets must be the Tide-Waiters and Custom-House Officers. After this Bird had flown two or three Times round the Ship, he made for the Shore again, and presently after return’d with three other Daws, and alighted upon the Fore-castle. I was ready to burst with laughing, when I saw one of our Interpreters approach these Birds with a profound Respect, and immediately enter into a long Conversation with them. The Reason of their coming, was to inspect what Merchandise we had on board, it being their Business to enquire, whether we had any contraband Goods, and particularly any of the Herb commonly call’d Slac. It is very common for these Creatures to search every Corner of the Ship, and to unpack every Bale of Goods, to see if they can discover any of this Herb, the Importation of which is prohibited by the Magistrate, under a very severe Penalty. The Inhabitants barter several Sorts of Commodities, which are very useful and necessary towards the Support of Life, in Exchange for this Herb; from whence it happens, that the Plants which grow in Picardania, though every whit as good as this, are held in no Esteem. The Picardanians in this resemble the Europeans, who are often fond of Things for no other Reason, but because they are fetch’d from remote Countries, and grow in foreign Soils.
The Inspector, after he had had a long Conference with our Interpreters, went down into the Hold with the rest of his Companions, and returning soon after, with an angry Countenance declar’d, that he forbad us trading with the Picardanians, because we had acted contrary to the Faith of Treaties, in importing prohibited Goods. But the Captain, who knew by Experience how to mitigate the Officer’s Anger, presented him immediately with a few Pounds of Slac, upon which his Anger subsided, and he gave us Leave to unload our Cargo. As soon as this was over, a vast Flock of Daws came fluttering about us. These were all Merchants, who came to traffick. The Captain intending to go ashore, order’d me, and some others, to accompany him. Accordingly four in Number of us left the Ship, namely, the Captain, myself, and two other Monkeys, to wit, our Supercargo and Interpreter. We were invited to Dinner by the Inspector-General. The Inhabitants have no Tables, as not making any Use of Chairs, for which Reason the Cloth was laid in the Middle of the Floor. A most delicate and magnificent Repast was presently serv’d up, but in very small Dishes: And as the Kitchen was at the Top of the House, each Dish was brought in supported by two Pair of Jack-Daws, as if it descended from the Clouds. After Dinner the Officer took us along with him, to shew us his Library. There was a vast Collection of Books, but of a mighty small Size, the largest Folios being scarce so big as one of our Primmers. I had much ado to withhold laughing when I saw the Librarian fly up to the Top-Shelves to fetch down some of the Octavos and Duodecimos. The Houses of the Picardanians are very little different from ours, as to the Building, and the Disposition of the Apartments; but the Bed-Chambers are suspended just beneath the Roof, after the Manner of Birds-Nests. It may be ask’d, perhaps, how it is possible for Daws, (who are reckon’d amongst the Birds Minorum gentium) to build Houses of such a Magnitude?
But it was evident, from a House which was then building from the Ground, that the Thing was very possible; for several thousand Labourers were employ’d about it at the same Time; so that what was wanting in Strength was supply’d by Numbers, and by the Agility with which they flew about their Work. For this Reason they will finish a House almost as quickly as our Bricklayers can. The Inspector’s Lady did not appear at Table, by reason of her Lying-in; for at such Times the Mother never stirs out as long as her little ones are callow, but as soon as ever they begin to be fledg’d, her Husband gives her Leave to go abroad. We did not stay long in this Country, for which Reason I can say nothing as to the Government thereof, or the Manners and Customs of the Inhabitants. Every Thing was in great Confusion at that Time, on Account of a War which was just then broke out between the Daws and their Neighbours the Thrushes, especially as News was brought the Day after our Arrival, that a great Battle had been fought in the Air, in which the Daws were entirely routed. The General was afterwards try’d by a Court-Martial, and sentenc’d to have his Wings clipt, which is look’d upon as a very heavy Punishment in this Country, and very little different from what is inflicted for capital Offences. After we had dispos’d of the Cargo, we set Sail from thence. At a little Distance from the Shore, we saw great Quantities of Feathers floating about upon the Water, and from thence conjectur’d, that it was the Spot where the late Battle had been fought.
After a prosperous Voyage, which lasted only three Days, we arriv’d upon the Coast of Crotchet-Island. We immediately came to an Anchor, and went on Shore, preceded by an Interpreter, who carry’d that Sort of musical Instrument along with him, which is generally call’d a Base. This Ceremony appear’d very ridiculous to me, as I could not comprehend for what Reason he should load himself with such an useless Burden. As the Coasts seem’d to be deserted, and there was no Appearance of any living Creature, the Captain order’d our Interpreter to play a March, to give Notice of our Coming. Upon this about thirty musical Instruments, or Bases, with one Leg, came hopping towards us. I thought at first, that what I saw was all Inchantment, as I never, in all my Travels, met with any Thing so wonderful. The Make of these Bases, whom I afterwards found to be the Inhabitants of the Country, was as follows: Their Necks were pretty long, with little Heads upon them; their Bodies were slender, and cover’d with a smooth Kind of Bark or Rind, in such a Manner, as that a pretty large Vacuity was left between the Rind and the Body itself. A little above the Navel, Nature had plac’d a Sort of Bridge with four Strings. The whole Machine rested upon one Foot, so that their Motion was like that of Hopping, which they perform’d with wonderful Agility. In short one would have took them for real Bases, from their Similitude to that Instrument, had it not been for their Hands and Arms, which were in every Respect like our own. One of these Hands was employ’d in holding the Bow, as the other was in stopping the Strings. Our Interpreter begun the Conference, by taking up the Instrument he had brought with him, and playing a slow Strain.
_Sustinet a lævâ, tenuit manus altera plectrum,
Artificis status ipse fuit: Tum stamina docto
Pollice sollicitat._
An Answer was presently return’d him in the same Strain, and thus they went on warbling their Thoughts to one another for a considerable Time. Their Conversation began with an Adagio, which I cannot but say had a good deal of Harmony in it, but it soon slid into Discords which were very grating to the Ear. The Conference ended with an harmonious and delightful Præsto. Upon hearing this last our Men were exceedingly pleas’d, since it was a Token, as they told me, that the Price of their Cargo was agreed upon. I was afterward inform’d, that the slow Musick in the Beginning was only a Prelude to the Discourse, and was employ’d in mutual Compliments on both Sides: But that when we heard the Discords they were disputing about the Price of our Commodities, and that the Præsto in the Conclusion signify’d that the Business was happily determin’d. Accordingly a little while after we unloaded the Ship. The Commodity for which there is the greatest Demand in this Country is Rosin, with which the Inhabitants rub their Bows, which are their Instruments of Speech. Such as are convicted of any great Crime in this Country, are generally sentenc’d by the Judge to be depriv’d of their Bows; and a perpetual Privation of the Bow is equal to capital Punishment amongst us. As I understood there was to be a final Hearing of a Law-Suit in a neighbouring Court of Justice, while I staid there, my Curiosity prompted me to hear some of their musical Law-Proceedings. The Council, instead of making a Speech, mov’d their Bows, and play’d each of them a Kind of Tune. So long as the Pleadings lasted, I could distinguish nothing but dissonant and jarring Sounds; for all the Eloquence of the Bar consists in the Loudness of their Notes, and the quick Motion of their Hands. After the Hearing was over, the Judge rising slowly from the Bench, and taking up his Bow, gave the Court an Adagio, which is the same Thing as pronouncing Sentence. For as soon as he had made an End, the Executioners advanc’d directly to the Criminal, to take away his Bow. The Boys in this Country resemble that Kind of Instrument, which in our Parts of the World we call a Kitt. They are never suffer’d to handle a Bow till they are three Years old. Upon their Entrance into their fourth Year they are sent to School to learn their Gamut, from Masters appointed for that Purpose, as Children in Europe are, to learn their Alphabet. They are kept under the Discipline of the Ferula till they are able to play thoroughly in Tune, and to give their Instruments a clear and distinct Expression. We were very much molested by these Boys during our Stay there, as they were perpetually teazing us with their scraping. Our Interpreter, who had a very good Hand himself, and perfectly understood the Language, told us, that the only Meaning of this Musick was to beg a little Rosin of us. They begg’d in a whining Tone of the Adagio Kind, but as soon as ever they had got what they wanted, they run into the Allegro, or Jig-Time, which was their Method of returning Thanks. However, a Repulse would at any Time spoil all their Musick.
Having dispatch’d our Affairs to our Satisfaction, we left this Place about the Month Cusan, and after a Voyage of a few Days came in Sight of another Coast. Our Crew guess’d it to be Pyglossia, from the fœtid Smell which came from thence. The Inhabitants of this Country are not unlike human Creatures, except in one Particular, which is the Want of Mouths. This lays them under a Necessity of speaking a posteriori, if I may be allow’d the Phrase. The first Person who came aboard our Ship was a wealthy Merchant. He very civilly saluted us from behind, according to the Custom of the Country, and then began to talk with us about the Price of our Goods. The Barber belonging to our Ship, to my great Misfortune, was at that Time sick; for which Reason I was oblig’d to make use of a Pyglossian Barber. The People of this Profession are more talkative, if possible, in this Country, than they are in Europe; so that whilst he was shaving me, he left such a horrid Stench behind him in the Cabin, that we were oblig’d to burn great Quantities of Incense to sweeten it again after his Departure. I was so accustom’d to see strange Things, and such as were contrary to the usual Course of Nature, that nothing now appear’d surprizing to me. As the Conversation of the Pyglossians was disagreeable and offensive, by reason of this natural Imperfection, we were willing to get away from thence as soon as possible, and therefore weigh’d Anchor before the Time we had appointed. We hasten’d our Departure the more on Account of our being invited to Supper by one of the principal Inhabitants. We all shrugg’d up our Shoulders at this Invitation, and nobody would accept of it, but upon Condition that a general Silence should be observ’d all Supper-Time. As we were going out of the Harbour, the Pyglossians crouded to the Shore to wish us a good Voyage; but as the Wind blew directly from the Land, we made all the Signs we could, by nodding our Heads, and waving our Hands, to let them know we would excuse their Compliments. I could not help reflecting, upon this Occasion, how very troublesome a Man may prove by striving to be over-complaisant.
The chief Trade of the Martinians to this Country, consists in Rose-Water, and divers Kinds of Spices and Perfumes. We steer’d our Course from hence to Iceland, a Country the most horrid, desert, and inhospitable, that ever my Eyes beheld. Hardly any Thing is to be seen, but Mountains continually cover’d over with Snow. The Inhabitants, who are all made of Ice, are dispers’d here and there amongst the Tops of the Hills, in Places where the Sun never comes. For all between the Summits of the Mountains, to speak poetically, is bound up in eternal Frost. On this Account likewise it is perpetually dark here, or if there is any Light, it is only what proceeds from the Glittering of the Hoar-Frost. But the Valleys which lie between these Hills of Snow are (full as miraculously) scorch’d with Heat, and burnt up by the fiery Vapours with which the Atmosphere abounds. For this Reason the Inhabitants never dare venture down into the Valleys, unless it be in hazy Weather, or when the Sky is overcast. And as soon as ever they perceive the least Glimmering of the Sun’s Rays, they either get back into the Mountains, or plunge directly into some Cavern. It often happens, that whilst the Inhabitants are upon the Road into these Valleys, they are either melted, or come to some other Misfortune. The extraordinary Heat in these Places furnishes them with a ready Means of punishing notorious Criminals. The Executioners take the Opportunity of the first cloudy Day to carry such Criminals down into the Plain, where they tie them to a Stake, and there leave them expos’d to the burning Rays of the Sun, which soon dissolves and melts them. The Country produces all Kinds of Minerals, except Gold. These are bought up by foreign Merchants, in the crude State in which they are digg’d out of the Earth. For the Natives being unable to bear the Fire, know nothing of the Art of smelting or working up of Metals. ’Tis thought that the Iceland Trade is the most beneficial of any that is carry’d on in these Parts.
All these Countries, which I have been hitherto describing, are subject to the great Emperor of Mezendoria, properly so call’d; for which Reason these, as well as others which have not been mention’d, are by Travellers call’d by the general Name of the Mezendores, or Mezendorian Islands, tho’ they are distinguish’d from one another by peculiar Names, as has been shewn in this Itinerary. That Empire, which is no less spacious than it is extraordinary, was the End, and as it were the Center of our Voyage. Eight Days after we left Iceland, we arriv’d at the Imperial City. Whatever the Poets have said about Societies of Animals, or Trees, we here found to be real. For Mezendoria is a Country which is actually possess’d in common by Animals and Trees, who are alike endued with Reason. Any Kind of Animal or Tree whatsoever is allow’d to enjoy the Privileges of this City, provided he is obedient to the Laws, and to the establish’d Government. One would be apt to think, that a Mixture of so many Creatures of different Forms and opposite Natures should necessarily create Disorder and Confusion. But by Virtue of prudent Laws and Constitutions, this Contrariety is made to produce happy Effects. For by Means thereof, a different Office or Employment, and such as is suited to his different Genius, Temper, and Abilities, is prudently assign’d to each of these miscellaneous Subjects. Lions, because of their innate Magnanimity, are here made Generals of Armies; Elephants, by reason of their natural Sagacity, and the Soundness of their Judgments, are appointed Members of the Supreme Council of the Nation. All Offices at Court are fill’d up by Cameleons, which Animals being by Nature subject to Change, can the more readily accommodate themselves to Times and Circumstances. The Land-Forces are made up of Bears and Tygers, and such warlike Animals. Bulls and Oxen are admitted into the SeaService; for these being simple and well-meaning Creatures, and at the same Time hardy and obstinate, and not overburden’d with good Breeding, are therefore esteem’d the properest Inhabitants for that boisterous Element. They have likewise a Seminary of Calves, which are instructed in the Art of Navigation, and train’d up for the Service of the Fleet; these are call’d Sea-Calves, and are promoted by Degrees to the Dignity of Captains and Admirals. Trees, by reason of their Uprightness, are created Judges. Geese are Advocates in the Supreme Courts of Justice, and Magpyes have the Management of Causes in the inferior Courts. Foxes are made Plenipotentiaries, Envoys, Consuls, Agents and Secretaries to Embassies. Rooks are generally appointed Administrators to the Goods and Chattels of such as die intestate. Goats are Philosophers, especially Grammarians, as well out of Regard to their Horns, with which they are us’d to push their Adversaries upon the slightest Provocation, as on Account of their venerable Beards, in which Respect, they surpass all other Animals. Horses are Civil Magistrates; and Vipers, Moles, and Dormice, Farmers and Husbandmen. Birds are employ’d as Couriers and Post-Boys. Asses, on Account of the Loudness of their Voices, are made Deacons; and Nightingales execute the Office of Singing-Men and Choiristers. Cocks are the Watchmen in great Towns, and Dogs are Porters at the Gates. Wolves are the superior Officers in the Treasury and Custom-House, and Hawks and Vultures are their Deputies.
By Means of these excellent Institutions all publick Offices are duly and faithfully executed, and every Thing transacted in the most orderly Manner. This Empire, therefore, ought to be a Pattern for all Legislators to copy after in the Establishment of new Forms of Government. For that so many worthless Wretches get into Employments is not owing to any Want of Persons of Abilities to fill them up, but solely to an improper Choice. But if this Matter was taken Care of as it ought to be, and wise and able Men promoted not on Account of their general Merits, but of their Fitness to that particular Post, we should see publick Offices far better manag’d than they now are, and Governments in a more flourishing Condition. What a salutary Institution this is which we have been speaking of, is evident from the Example of this Empire. We find in the Annals of Mezendoria, that about three hundred Years ago this Law was repeal’d by the Emperor Lilak, and that publick Employments were conferr’d upon all Sorts of People indifferently, provided they had Merit of any Kind, or had signaliz’d themselves by any extraordinary Action. But this promiscuous Distribution of Places of Trust occasion’d so many and such great Disorders, that the Government seem’d upon the Point of being overturn’d thereby. Thus, for Example, a Wolf having acquitted himself with Reputation in the Management of the publick Revenues, lays Claim, on that Account, to a superior Dignity, and becomes a Senator; on the other Hand a Tree, having signaliz’d himself by the Integrity of his Decisions, was rewarded by an Employment in the Treasury. By this preposterous Promotion, two able Men at once were rendered absolutely useless to the Publick. A Goat, or a Philosopher, who was extoll’d to the Skies by the Scholasticks, for his Keenness and Obstinacy in defending an Argument, desiring to advance himself, requested the first Place that should happen to be vacant at Court, and obtain’d it; whilst a Cameleon, noted for his Good-Breeding and his Compliance with the Times, obtain’d by these Qualities a Professor’s Chair in the University, which he sollicited for the Sake of the Salary.
The Effect of this was, that the former from an able Philosopher became an absurd Courtier; and the latter from an excellent Courtier, was transform’d into a most empty Philosopher. For that Perseverance in maintaining his Opinions, which does a Man Credit as a Philosopher, is an Imperfection in the other Character, since Fickleness and Inconstancy are cardinal Virtues at Court, and he that would rise there must regard not so much what is true, as what is safe, and must assume a different Aspect just as the Face of Affairs happens to change. What is there a Vice, is a Virtue in the Schools; where Positiveness, and a determin’d Resolution to adhere, at all Events, to the Point you have undertaken to defend, is a Token of a very great Man. In short, the Subjects in general, even such as were remarkable for very extraordinary Abilities, were by this Alteration in the Constitution render’d useless to their Country, and the Republick of course began to totter. In this State of Affairs, when every Thing was running to Ruin, an Elephant of great Prudence, named Baccari, at that Time a Senator, laid this Grievance before the Emperor in very pathetick Terms. That Prince, being convinc’d of the Truth of what was told him, determin’d to put an immediate Stop to the growing Evil. The Manner in which a Reformation was brought about was this. Such as were in Employment were not immediately turn’d out, for by that Means the Remedy would have been worse than the Disease; but as fast as Offices became vacant, such as already were in Employments, for which they were unfit, were remov’d to others better adapted to their Capacities. The good Effects of this Change soon became visible; and Baccari, for the great Service he had done his Country, had a Statue erected for him, which is to be seen in the great Square in Mezendoria at this Day. Ever since that Time the ancient Laws have been religiously observ’d. Our Interpreter affirm’d, that he had this Relation from a certain Goose, with whom he was very intimate, and who was reckon’d one of the most eminent Lawyers in the whole City.
Many unusual, and even stupendous Phænomena, are daily offering themselves to View in this Country, and attracting the Eyes of Strangers and Travellers. The Sight alone of so many Kinds of Animals, to wit, Bears, Wolves, Geese, Magpyes, &c. walking up and down the different Streets and Quarters of the City, and conversing familiarly with each other, cannot fail of exciting Admiration and Delight in those who are unaccustom’d to such Kind of Sights. The first Person who came on board us was a meagre Wolf, or Custom-House Officer; he was attended by four Kites, or Under-Officers, such as in Europe are call’d Searchers. They seiz’d whatever they had a Mind to of our Cargo, and by that Means made it appear that they had learnt their Lesson perfectly, and were very far from being Novices in their Trade. The Captain, according to his usual Civility, always took me along with him when he went ashore. We were met at our Landing by a Cock, who having ask’d the usual Questions, namely, what our Business was, and from whence we came, gave Notice of our Arrival to the chief Officer of the Customs. We met with a very civil Reception, and were invited to sup with him. His Wife, who, as we were told, was a celebrated Beauty among the Wolves, did not make her Appearance at Table. The Reason of her Absence, we heard afterward, was her Husband’s Jealousy, who did not think it proper to expose a Person of her Beauty to the View of Strangers, and especially of Sailors, who by reason of their long Abstinence, being generally very loving when they come on Shore, use little or no Distinction in their Addresses. Divers other marry’d Females sat down to Supper with us. One of our Company, a white Cow with black Spots, was the Wife of a Sea-Officer. Next to her sat a black Cat, who was Wife to one of the King’s Huntsmen, and was just come up out of the Country. The Person that sat next to me at Table was a particolour’d Sow, Wife to a Gold-finder, all Offices of this Kind being fill’d up by such as are of Hoggish Extraction.
She was very sluttish, and sat down to Table without washing her Hands, which is a common Thing amongst those of her Tribe; but then she was extremely officious, and help’d me several Times with her own Hands. Every body was surpriz’d at her unusual Civility, especially as these Creatures are by no Means remarkable for Politeness. For my Part, I wish’d she had not been quite so well-bred, since the being help’d by such Hands was not in the least agreeable to me. I must here observe, that though the Inhabitants of Mezendoria resemble Brutes, as to their Shapes, yet they have Hands and Fingers which grow out of their Forefeet, in which Respect alone they differ from our Quadrupeds. They have no Occasion for Cloaths, as their Bodies are cover’d over with Hair or Feathers. The Rich are distinguish’d from the Poor only by certain Ornaments, as Collars of Gold, or Pearls, or Garlands wound in a spiral Manner round about their Horns. The Sea-Officer’s Lady was so set off with Ornaments of this Kind, that one could scarce see any Horns she had. She excus’d her Husband’s Absence, by saying he was detained at home by a Law-Suit, a Hearing of which was to come on the Day following. After Supper was over, the particolour’d Sow, whom I have been speaking of, took our Interpreter aside, and had a long Conference with him, the Purport of which, was, that she had conceiv’d a violent Passion for me. He comforted all he could, and promising her a mutual Passion on my Part, he next began to make his Attack on me. But as he found his Words made no Impression upon me, he advis’d me to make my Escape as soon as possible, since he knew the Lady would leave no Stone unturn’d to gratify her Wishes. From that Time forward I kept close on board, especially after I heard that a former Admirer of her Ladyship’s, a Student in Philosophy, who was grown jealous of me, had form’d a Design against my Life. I was scarce secure even on board against the repeated Attacks of this Inamorata, who sometimes by Messages, and at other Times by Billet-doux and Love-Verses, endeavour’d to soften my obdurate Heart.
Had not I unfortunately lost these Letters, when I afterwards suffer’d Shipwreck, I could here have presented the Reader with a Specimen of Piggish Poetry. But they are now slipt out of Memory, and all that I can at present recollect of them are the following Lines, in which she thus sets off her Beauties.
’Tis true, in dread Array my Bristles rise;
But let me not for this be hateful to thee.
What is the Steed, without his flowing Mane?
What are the feather’d Race, without their Plumes?
What is a Tree, stript of its leafy Honours?
What is a mortal Man without his Beard?
And what, ye Gods! a Sow without her Bristles?
We made an End of our Market with such Expedition, that we were in a Condition to set Sail from thence in a few Days. Our Voyage, however, was retarded some Time, by a Quarrel which happen’d betwixt our Sailors, and some of the Inhabitants of the Country. The Occasion of the Quarrel was this. As one of our Men was passing through the City, a Cuckoo, who had a Mind to be arch upon him, call’d him in Derision Peripom, which signifies the same as a Stage-Player amongst us. For as Monkeys in this Country are commonly Rope-Dancers and Comedians, the Cuckoo took our Martinian for a Player. The Sailor, resenting the Affront, fell upon him with a Cudgel, and repeating his Blow, almost maim’d him. The Cuckoo calling out for Help, desir’d the By-Standers to bear Witness of the Assault, and summon’d them the next Day to give Evidence in a Court of Justice. The Witnesses having been examin’d, the Matter was laid before the Senate. The Sailor being ignorant both of the Laws and Language of the Mezendorians, was forc’d to see a Pye, or Lawyer, to be Counsel for him. The Cause was thus brought before the Senate, and after a Hearing, which lasted about an Hour, Sentence was given to the following Purpose: That the Cuckoo, as being the Aggressor, should undergo the Punishment in that Case provided, and pay the Costs of the Suit. However, the Lawyer’s Fees had swallow’d up all his Cash already. The Judges who determin’d this Affair were Horses, two of which were Consuls, and the other four Senators. An equal Number of Colts were likewise present, who had a Right of giving their Opinions, but not of voting, and were admitted into the Court as Pupils and Candidates to fill up Vacancies upon the Bench.
Having finish’d our Affairs to our Satisfaction, and got our Loading which was very valuable on board, we thought of returning home. Soon after we were out at Sea, a sudden Calm at once put a Stop to our Course. Upon which we fell to our Diversions, some to spearing of Fishes as they leapt above the Surface, others to angling for them. By and by we had a Gale of Wind, and proceeded in our Voyage.
Having long plough’d the Ocean with a prosperous Gale, we at length came in Sight of other Syrens, who by Intervals would set up a most hideous and dismal Yell. This struck an uncommon Terror into the Sailors, who knew, by woful Experience, that such mournful Musick portended Storms and Shipwrecks. Hereupon we immediately took in our Sails, and every Man was order’d to his Post. We had scarce made an End of our Work before we saw the Heavens cover’d with black Clouds. The Waves began to swell, and such a Storm follow’d, that the Pilot, who had us’d the Subterranean Seas for almost forty Years, declar’d he had never known so terrible a one. Every Thing that happen’d to be upon Deck was immediately wash’d overboard, partly by Means of the Waves, which were every Moment breaking over it, and partly by the violent Rain’s which fell at the same Time, attended with dreadful Lightning and loud Claps of Thunder. So that all the Elements seem’d to conspire together for our Destruction. Our Main-Mast was presently broke short off and carry’d away, and the rest soon follow’d it. We had nothing now but Death before our Eyes. One was calling out upon his Wife and Children, another upon his Friends and Relations, and the whole Vessel resounded with their mournful Cries. The Pilot, though without Hope himself, was nevertheless oblig’d to sooth the rest with Hopes, and to advise them not to give Way to unavailing Sorrows. Whilst he was in the Midst of this Discourse, a sudden Gust of Wind hurry’d him overboard, and he was quickly swallow’d up by the Waves. Three others underwent the same Fate, namely, the Purser, and two Sailors. I was the only one who bore the general Calamity without repining. Life was grown a Burden to me, and I had no Inclination to return to Martinia, where I had forfeited my Liberty and good Name. All the Compassion I had left was for the Captain, who had treated me with so much Kindness during our whole Voyage. I strove with all the Eloquence I was Master of, to raise his drooping Spirits; but in vain; he persisted in his Sighs and womanish Complaints, till a Wave came rolling over us, and carry’d him away with it into the Ocean.
The Storm increasing still, no farther Care was taken about the Ship. Not a Mast, not a Rudder, or even so much as a Rope or Oar was left; and our Vessel floated at Random on the Waves. We were toss’d about in this Condition near three whole Days, half dead with Fear and Hunger. The Sky appear’d serene by Intervals, but nevertheless the Storm continued with its usual Violence. At length we discovered Land, the Sight of which, though it appear’d to be nothing but craggy Rocks and Precipices, was some Comfort to those of the Crew who were still left alive. As the Wind blew towards the Shore, we were in Hopes that we should soon be driven thither. But this could not happen without our suffering Shipwreck, by reason of the Cragginess of the Coast. It seem’d however probable, that some of us, if not all, by the Help of some Fragments of the Ship, might for the present at least escape. But whilst we were comforting ourselves with these Hopes, we struck upon a Rock, which being under Water had escap’d our Notice, with such Violence, that the Vessel was in an Instant dash’d into an hundred Pieces. In the Midst of this Confusion I laid hold of a Plank, being only anxious for my own Safety, and little minding what became of my Companions, whose Fate I am yet a Stranger to. It is most likely that they were all lost, since I could not hear of the Arrival of any of them into that Country. I was carry’d with great Rapidity to the Shore, by the Help of the Tide and of the Waves. This was a Means of saving me, for had I continued a little longer in the State I was in, I should certainly have perish’d through Hunger and Fatigue. After I had doubled the Point of a certain Promontory, the Waves abated, and I heard the Murmuring of them at a Distance only, and that too by Degrees grew weaker and weaker, till it intirely vanish’d.
This whole Region is mountainous. And hence the frequent Windings of the Mountains, their overhanging Tops, together with the Deepness of the Vales below, are the Occasion of very great Echoes here. As soon as I found myself near the Shore, I hollow’d out as loud as I was able, in hopes that some of the Inhabitants upon the Coasts might hear me, and come to my Assistance. My first Shout was not return’d, but after I had repeated it, I heard a Kind of Noise from the Shore, and at length saw the Inhabitants running out of the Woods, and coming to meet me with a Boat, which was made of Osier Branches and Oaken Twigs, a Proof that they were not a very improv’d or civiliz’d People. But the Sight of the Rowers gave me a Transport beyond Description; for as to their exterior Figure, they did not differ at all from Men, and were the only Creatures of my own Species that I had beheld during this whole Subterranean Tour. They are something like the Inhabitants of the Torrid Zone. For they have black Beards, and short, curl’d Hair; and those who have long, flaxen Hair, are reputed a Kind of Monsters. At length they drew near to the broken Piece of the Ship I was upon, and took me into their Boat in a dropping Condition. They then row’d to Shore, where after I had been refresh’d with some Meat and Drink, though in a very plain and coarse Manner, I soon recover’d my Vigour and Spirits, notwithstanding I had been three whole Days and Nights in a Manner combating with Thirst and Hunger.
