(Dedicated to the Thames Conservancy)
9 A.M.--Got out my boat, and made immediately for the centre of the stream.
10 A.M.--Spent some three-quarters of an hour in attempting to avoid the swell of the City steamboats. Within an ace of being swamped by one of them.
11 A.M.--Run into by a sailing-barge. Only saved by holding on to a rope, and pushing my boat aground.
1 P.M.--After getting into deep water again, was immediately run into by a coal-barge. Exchange of compliments with the crew thereof.
2 P.M.--Pursued by swans and other savage birds. Pelted with stones thrown from the shore by ragged urchins out of reach of my vengeance.
3 P.M.--Amongst the fishing-punts. Lively communication of opinions by the angry fishermen. Attempted piracy.
4 P.M.--Busily engaged in extricating my boat from the weeds.
5 P.M.--Disaster caused by a rope coming from the towing-path.
6 P.M.--Lock-keeper not to be found. Daring and partially successful attempt to shoot the rapids.
7 P.M.--Run down by a steam-launch travelling at express-rate speed.
8 P.M.--Just recovering from the effects of drowning.
9 P.M.--Going home to bed!
Energetic Male (reclining). "Now then, girls, work away! Nothing like taking real exercise!"
THE CHANNEL QUESTION SOLVED (1873)
OR, EVERY ONE HIS OWN BESSEMER!
