Jerking and jolting,
Bursting and bolting,
Smelling and steaming,
Shrieking and screaming,
Snorting and shaking,
Quivering, quaking,
Skidding and slipping,
Twisting and tripping,
Bumping and bounding,
Puffing and pounding,
Rolling and rumbling,
Thumping and tumbling.
Such I've a notion,
Motor-car motion.
Illustration: ADDING INSULT TO INJURY
Cyclist (to Foxhunter, thrown out), "Oi say, Squoire, 'ave you seen the 'ounds?"
Illustration: TRUE PHILOSOPHY.--Ploughman. "Ah, things be different like wi' them an' us. They've got a trap wi' no 'osses, an' we 'm got 'osses wi' no trap."
Illustration: THE RECKLESS ONE
Wife of Injured Cyclist (who, having found considerable difficulty in getting on his bicycle, and none whatever in coming off, has never ventured to attempt more than three miles in the hour). "Well, I do believe he's had a lesson at last! I warned him about 'scorching.' I said to him, what have you got to do with the 'record'?"
Illustration: AN INOPPORTUNE TIME
Jones, while motoring to town to fulfil an important engagement, has the misfortune to get stuck up on the road, and has sent his chauffeur to the village for assistance. In the meantime several village children gather around and sing, "God rest you, merry gentleman, let nothing you dismay," etc.
The Great Motor Mystery.--At Lancaster two motorists were fined, according to the Manchester Evening News, "for driving a motor-car over a trap near Carnforth, at twenty-nine and thirty-four miles per hour respectively." We are of the opinion that the action of the second gentleman in driving at so high a speed over the poor trap when it was already down was not quite in accordance with the best traditions of English sport.
Illustration: BREAKING IT GENTLY.--
Passer-by. "Is that your pork down there on the road, guv'nor?"
Farmer. "Pork! What d'ye mean? There's a pig o' mine out there."
Passer-by. "Ah, but there's a motor-car just been by."
Illustration: EXCLUSIVE.--
Fair Driver. "Will you stand by the pony for a few minutes, my good man?"
The Good Man. "Pony, mum? No, I'm a motor-minder, I am. 'Ere, Bill! 'Orse."
