Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories 33 – Anonymous · Verses Across
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories 33Dining Al Fresco
18
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories 33
Dining Al Fresco
AnonymousEnglish
(Extract from an Earl's Courtier's Notebook)
6 P.M.--Come down early, to get a table. Can't. All the tables booked a week in advance. Very angry. Manager says he'll see what can be done for me--later on. Fairly satisfied. He had better!
7 P.M.--In state of heat. Have a fair appetite. Ask for table. "What table?" "The one promised me--later on." "Very sorry, but they are all engaged." Awfully angry. Explain that I am a person of some importance. Can do the place a great deal of good if I do have a table, and vice versâ. Manager desolated. See everybody else stuffing, drinking, and enjoying themselves. How they can have the heart! And I table-less! But, no matter, a time will come. I'll write to "the leading journal" and denounce everything and everybody.
7.15 P.M.--Explosively wrathful. At last! Ha! ha! Got a table. But at the back somewhere. Strong smell of cooking. Distant echo of a band. Exceedingly annoyed. Have tasted hors d'oeuvres. Sardines decent.
7.20 P.M.--Bonne Femme soup good. Have ordered champagne cup. Still annoyed.
7.30 P.M.--Salmon mayonnaise distinctly excellent. Good idea to have cold dinner. Champagne cup well brewed. Don't notice the smell of cooking. Can hear the band. Nice band.
7.40 P.M.--Pâté de fois gras en aspic. Capital Cold joint. First-rate. Salad artistically mixed. Second champagne cup as good as first. After all, place of table not so bad.
A TRUE ARTIST.--Mamma (to Tommy, who has been allowed for a few minutes to wait at table). "Now, Tommy, kiss me, and go to bed."
Tommy (to footman). "Do you ever kiss the missus, Charles?"
