Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 36 – Anonymous · Verses Across
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 36More Lawn Tennis Lobs
18
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 36
More Lawn Tennis Lobs
AnonymousEnglish
(Served by Dumb-Crambo Junior.)
Smith. "Let me put your name down for this tournament?"
Jones (who thinks himself another Renshaw, and doesn't care to play with a scratch lot). "A--thanks--no! I'd rather not!"
Smith. "Oh, they're frightful duffers, all of them! You'll stand a very fair chance! Do!"]
PROFESSIONAL JEALOUSY.--Miss Matilda (referring to her new lawn tennis shoes, black, with india-rubber soles). "The worst of it is, they draw the feet so!" Our Artist (an ingenuous and captivating youth). "Ah, they may draw the feet; but they'll never do justice to yours, Miss Matilda!"
[Sighs deeply.
]
TRIALS OF THE UMPIRE AT A LADIES' DOUBLE
Lilian and Claribel. "It was out, wasn't it, Captain Standish?"
Adeline and Eleanore. "Oh, it wasn't out, Captain Standish, was it?"]
THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID
She. "Would you mind putting my lawn tennis shoes in your pockets, Mr. Green?"
He. "I'm afraid my pockets are hardly big enough, Miss Gladys; but I shall be delighted to carry them for you!"]
.
A LONG SHOT. (Before the commencement of the polo match).--Young Lady (making her first acquaintance with the game). "Oh, I wish you would begin. I'm so anxious to see the sweet ponie kick the ball about!"
[Her only excuse is that she hails from a great football county.
]
OUR LOCAL POLO MATCH
Excited Drummer. "Vat! He iss your only ball? Ach, donner und blitzen! he haf proke insides my only drum! You pay ze drum, you haf ze ball!"
THE POSSIBILITIES OF CROQUET
The above represents the game of "All against All," as played by Brown, Miss Jones, and the Major.
