Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 40 – Anonymous · Verses Across
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 40Mixed Hockey
18
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 40
Mixed Hockey
AnonymousEnglish
You came down the field like a shaft from a bow
The vision remains with me yet.
I hastened to check you: the sequel you know:
Alas! we unluckily met.
You rushed at the ball, whirled your stick like a flail,
And you hit with the vigour of two:
A knight in his armour had surely turned pale,
If he had played hockey with you.
They gathered me up, and they took me to bed:
They called for a doctor and lint:
With ice in a bag they enveloped my head;
My arm they enclosed in a splint.
My ankles are swelled to a terrible size;
My shins are a wonderful blue;
I have lain here a cripple, unable to rise,
Since the day I played hockey with you.
Yet still, in the cloud hanging o'er me so black,
A silvery lining I spy:
A man who's unhappily laid on his back
Can yet have a solace. May I?
An angel is woman in moments of pain,
Sang Scott: clever poet, he knew:
It may, I perceive, be distinctly a gain
To have fallen at hockey with you.
For if you'll but nurse me (Come quickly, come now),
If you'll but administer balm,
And press at my bidding my feverish brow
With a cool but affectionate palm;
If you'll sit by my side, it is possible, quite,
That I may be induced to review
With a feeling more nearly akin to delight
That day I played hockey with you.
OUR LADIES' HOCKEY CLUB
Miss Hopper cannot understand how it is she is always put "in goal." But really the explanation is so simple. There's no room for a ball to get past her.
OUR LADIES' HOCKEY CLUB
One of the inferior sex who volunteered to umpire soon discovered his office was no sinecure.
HARE AND HOUNDS--AND MAY THEIR SHADOWS NEVER GROW LESS.--Mrs. Miniver. "How exhausted they look, poor fellows! Fancy doing that sort of thing for mere pleasure!" Little Timpkins (his bosom swelling with national pride). "Ah, but it's all through doing that sort of thing for mere pleasure, mind you, that we English are--what we are!"
[Bully for little Timpkins!
]
HARE AND HOUNDS--AND DONKEY
"Seen two men with bags of paper pass this way?"--"No!" "Did they tell you to say no?"--"Yes."
