Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 48 – Anonymous · Verses Across
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 48A Derby Dialogue
18
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 48
A Derby Dialogue
AnonymousEnglish
SCENE--In Town. JONES meets BROWN.
Jones. Going to Epsom?
Brown. No, I think not. Fact is, the place gets duller year by year. The train has knocked the fun out of the road.
Jones. Such a waste of time. Why go in a crowd to see some horses race, when you can read all about it in the evening papers?
Brown. Just so. No fun. No excitement. And the Downs are wretched if it rains or snows.
Jones. Certainly. The luncheon, too, is all very well; but, after all, it spoils one's dinner.
Brown. Distinctly. And champagne at two o'clock is premature.
Jones. And lobster-salad undoubtedly indigestible. So it's much better not to go to the Derby--in spite of the luncheon.
Brown. Yes,--in spite of the luncheon.
(Two hours pass. Scene changes to Epsom.)
Jones. Hullo! You here?
Brown. Hullo! And if it comes to that, you here, too?
Jones. Well, I really found so little doing in town that I thought I might be here as well as anywhere else.
Brown. Just my case. Not that there's much to see or do. Silly as usual.
Jones. Quite. Always said the Derby was a fraud. But I am afraid, my dear fellow, I must hurry away, as I have got to get back to my party for luncheon.
